You can put an Indian back in India, but ...

Tag: India

9 tips to help improve your Indian hospital experience

Back in the US, when Mrs. Neo was in labor, after every contraction, she asked Neo “Are you ok?”, much to the snickering amusement of the excellent nurses who helped Mrs. Neo during childbirth at a popular Bay Area hospital. Mrs. Neo’s concern was misplaced – Neo did not, in fact, faint when he saw […]

Shock laga kya ?

Neo’s relatives in India were shocked when he moved to India (“oh but he is so Americanized!”, “he will move back within six months, just watch!”, “Don’t let Sonali be influenced by him, she will also become atheist and then who will marry her?”). The poor relatives were even more hopelessly surprised when they found […]

Stop sweating the details and look at the big picture while planning your return to India

Image via Wikipedia Mrs. Neo’s friend “Amit” in the Bay Area always tells the Neos to “stop sweating the details and look at the big picture”. Amit’s “big picture” plan for returning to India starts with how the US-India nuclear deal and the crash of the US Dollar, coupled with the linking of the rivers […]

3 tips to help you connect with youngsters in India

“Premal Uncle is a f*ng jerk. Why did you stay with him every time you visited Mumbai ? Everyone thought you were a jerk too! And come on man, what’s up with the khaki shorts all the time? You really think it’s too f*ng warm to wear jeans like the rest of us ?”. Yes, […]

Images of India: Goa

(The Neo family has had a bad week thanks to a viral fever. Regular blogging will resume when the fever has been vanquished. Meanwhile, Neo’s been browsing through his overflowing photo collection all week). Goa has always been one of Neo’s favorite places to visit in India (once he figured out how to avoid the […]

How to stop faking it and start living in the real India

Not one to shy away from the occasional delusions of grandeur, Neo often gives his “we choose to move to India not because it is easy, but because it is hard” speech to the sundry relatives and friends who visit Neoville. But last weekend, instead of giving him the usual blank expression and heading towards […]

How much money do you need to save before you move to India ?

The most frequently asked question that this blog’s contact form gets isn’t “Are you really sure Neo isn’t single?”. No – that distinction goes to “How much money should I save up before returning to India” ? (While on the topic of being single, here’s a good rule for married men to follow in pubs: […]

The war for women

Feminists had it wrong all along – the Hindu moral policemen are not waging a war on women, they’re actually waging a war for women – as in literally to get women to marry them. (Neo finds it bizarrely tragic that we even need to have a label like “feminist” – how come we don’t […]

12 terrible things to say in your job interview in India

“Why aren’t you in a more interesting business ?” is not the sort of existential question Neo expects to answer, especially coming from someone interviewing at his company for an entry-level position. But after spending two years in India interviewing people, he has learned to be prepared for anything. Neo always goes in well-prepared for […]

13 ways to look like a stupid American in India

Neo was one of those lucky few who never had a “fresh off the boat” phase when he moved to the US. Any rumors about Neo walking through a Taco Bell drive-thru are completely false. (And even if he might have accidentally walked through a drive-thru, it was because he didn’t have a car, and […]

Return to India myth #2: India will feel like home after the US

Perhaps the most unsettling realization for Neo after his return to India has been this: For the rest of his life, he will almost certainly feel different from the local population – no matter where he stays in the world. Of course, “the need to feel at home” wasn’t in the list of “top 10 […]

Discover your true self – travel in India with lots of relatives

Most people will get a total of 88 weeks of paid vacation in their lifetimes. Neo just wasted 2 of them on a “vacation” with his extended family that has left him feeling more stressed out than if he had simply stayed at home and gone to work as usual. Neo had promised to Mrs. […]

Fighting for sports bra awareness in India

Update: It just so happens that today is National Cleavage day (hat tip: Vicki Boykis) Neo has always been a regular at the gym, in both the US and now in India. He’s the sort of obsessive-compulsive guy who has three identical sets of gym clothing, so that one can be washed while the other […]

How to rent an apartment in India without going crazy

There are probably only 5 Indian-Americans in the US who haven’t yet bought a flat (or three) in India. Neo was one of them. He likes to brag in parties that he saw the bubble coming, but Mrs. Neo invariably chalks it up to his laziness. So for the other 4 people who will be […]

Neo is moving back to the US

Neo thought he’ll play an April Fools day prank on his readers by announcing that he was ending his stay in India and moving back to the Bay Area. But, like any responsible blogger, Neo tests all his pranks on his hapless colleagues at work before  releasing them on his higher-valued blog readership. So he […]

Return to India myth #4: Moving to India will make you happy

One of the more unintuitive things Neo discovered after moving back to India was this – the happier someone was with their lives in the US, the happier they seemed after moving to India. (Except on dry days of course – when everyone is required by the Indian government to be unhappy.) Neo has many […]

6 surprising benefits of moving to India

It’s no secret that Mrs. Neo isn’t the biggest fan of Neo’s sense of humor – but her decision to make Neo sleep on the couch for the past 3 days seems very harsh indeed. Was Neo’s imitation of Mrs. Neo’s dad’s eating style really all that offensive ? Does he not in fact loudly […]

DLF Cricket Indian Premier League (IPL) 2009 schedule in Google Calendar, ICAL, Outlook

Image via Wikipedia Update: This calendar has been updated with the latest schedule after the event moved to South Africa. All times are in IST. Every cricket fan in India knows that there is no better way to celebrate quality family time than to watch the DLF Indian Premier League every evening, on every single […]

The secret healing powers of Bangalore’s traffic

Bangalore’s traffic has finally cured Mrs. Neo of acute “backseatdrivingitis”. In all the other great cities of the world, Mrs. Neo has always been the ultimate latte-sipping backseat warrior – a relentless proponent of all the routes that the GPS-following Neo didn’t take. (Mrs. Neo refuses to drive Neo’s car because it’s an automatic – […]

Why being a Hindu moral police is harder than your tech job

You sit there in your cube, thinking – “How hard can it be for Hindu Moral Police to talk about Indian values and judge others all day” – Well you are wrong in several ways. It is much harder than your techie job: 1. You only have to worry about getting your clothes ready for […]