neo
Indian
You can put an Indian back in India, but ...

Tag: funny

Living in India tip #7: How to negotiate with vastly smarter people, such as your maid.

Moving to India has caused Neo to make 180 degree shifts in many of his core opinions (not as dramatic a shift as Neo’s boss though, who once remarked that she’d like to see the company make a 360 degree shift in direction.) Here’s one example: When he lived in the US, Neo believed that […]

The sign outside Neo’s office cube

Thank you for visiting my cube. I am very friendly, but please: before you knock, slap me on my back, attempt to strangulate me to gain my attention, or pull out my earphones from my ears, please read this: 1. I have the same calendar system as you – so I probably already know I’m […]

A quick refresher of ancient Indian history, in case you forgot what you learnt in school

The earliest evidence of human activity in India is 75,000 years old, in Tamil Nadu. Historians are divided on whether the homo sapiens skeletons discovered were Iyengar, Iyer, Hindi-speaking barbarians from northern India, or unemployed prehistoric historians who committed suicide due to career frustrations. By 2600 BC, in Harappa, we see proof of the first […]

What people say to you when you tell them that you don’t believe in God

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The only piece of real estate in Bangalore that is worth buying

“It’s not an apartment, it’s an abode!” Welcome to Gurgling Creek Sprawling Meadows Courtyard Burj Al-Bangalore, a truly integrated township enclave featuring 10,000 idyllic, angelic, low-rise, high-tech, upscale, down-to-earth, close-to-nature, self-contained, self-sustainable, contemporary, exemplary, auxiliary, prestigious, almost religious, state-of-the-art, individually crafted, pedestrian-friendly, eco-friendly and vastu-friendly residential nay presidential homes that will leave you positively speechless, […]

10 things Google users really want to know about India

What’s puzzling about China’s attempts to access Gmail accounts of human rights activists is this – why go through the trouble? If the Chinese government knows which specific Gmail account to hack into, it must know who the activist is. Why not arrest the naughty fellow for driving too slowly on his bicycle and then […]

20 signs that you’ve successfully made the transition to living in India

How long can Neo call himself a “newly returned Indian” ? It’s been almost three years since he moved to India. But – as Neo said recently to one of his engineers who was denied a promotion – it’s not how long you’ve been doing it, but how well you’ve done it that counts. (Also, […]

Questions about life that seem important but are actually not: #5: “Why am I here?”

The 22nd year of a man’s life is very important because it represents the peak of his sexual virility. Which is why Neo will never forget what he was doing during the last minute of his 22nd year of life – he was saying “not tonight dear, I need to finish my Algorithms homework”. (As […]

The only Venn diagram about life that you will ever need

  (Neo couldn’t figure out which set Alcohol belongs to. Probably all three.) Tweet

25 ridiculously clichéd Hindi film dialogues that tell you the even more clichéd story of an Indian girl

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The Complete Idiot’s Guide to doing Namaste

Neo suffered from a rare form of “prostrate cancer”, i.e. the inability to figure out when and how to prostrate himself and perform Namaste. This is the guide he wished he had read then. How to do Namaste (a.k.a. namaskar) There are two major techniques: 1. The I’m-feeling-particularly-humble-today technique: That’s how. Practice it at home. […]

What happens in Vegas ends up as a wedding ceremony in Chennai

Last week Neo finally reconciled with the friend who convinced him that it is considered romantic to propose to South Indian girls with a rava idli instead of a ring. The only reason why Mrs. Neo accepted the proposal was because she probably didn’t know any better (plus there was the slight matter of Neo […]

Bangalore photo of the month

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