You can put an Indian back in India, but ...

Tag: bangalore

The only piece of real estate in Bangalore that is worth buying

“It’s not an apartment, it’s an abode!” Welcome to Gurgling Creek Sprawling Meadows Courtyard Burj Al-Bangalore, a truly integrated township enclave featuring 10,000 idyllic, angelic, low-rise, high-tech, upscale, down-to-earth, close-to-nature, self-contained, self-sustainable, contemporary, exemplary, auxiliary, prestigious, almost religious, state-of-the-art, individually crafted, pedestrian-friendly, eco-friendly and vastu-friendly residential nay presidential homes that will leave you positively speechless, […]

20 signs that you’ve successfully made the transition to living in India

How long can Neo call himself a “newly returned Indian” ? It’s been almost three years since he moved to India. But – as Neo said recently to one of his engineers who was denied a promotion – it’s not how long you’ve been doing it, but how well you’ve done it that counts. (Also, […]

The best thing to do right after your move to India: Panic

Neo arrived in India during mosquito-gras – the yearly event in Bangalore when millions of scantily-clad mosquitoes get high and swarm around searching for the Jonas Brothers mosquitoes. The good news is they are so crazed that they forget their mosquito-duty to bite you, and sort of leave you alone – just remember to keep […]

The problem with extreme moderation

“Do you feel safer outside a bar or outside a temple?” – a close “moderate” friend triumphantly asked Neo, while making the ok-maybe-its-not-entirely-true-but-its-still-useful case for religion. Well, certainly Neo can concede that there are some temples that are safer than some bars – but (as anyone who’s visited the Kali temple in Kolkata knows), there […]

How to stop faking it and start living in the real India

Not one to shy away from the occasional delusions of grandeur, Neo often gives his “we choose to move to India not because it is easy, but because it is hard” speech to the sundry relatives and friends who visit Neoville. But last weekend, instead of giving him the usual blank expression and heading towards […]

Bangalore photo of the month

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Return to India myth #2: India will feel like home after the US

Perhaps the most unsettling realization for Neo after his return to India has been this: For the rest of his life, he will almost certainly feel different from the local population – no matter where he stays in the world. Of course, “the need to feel at home” wasn’t in the list of “top 10 […]

How to rent an apartment in India without going crazy

There are probably only 5 Indian-Americans in the US who haven’t yet bought a flat (or three) in India. Neo was one of them. He likes to brag in parties that he saw the bubble coming, but Mrs. Neo invariably chalks it up to his laziness. So for the other 4 people who will be […]

Does God read this blog ?

Neo often wonders why God doesn’t use SMSes (or Google Talk) to communicate with the faithful. What could have been more effective than a well timed “Stop checking out the blonde” SMS last Sunday afternoon ? (Although the exceptionally painful jab from Mrs. Neo could only have been divinely inspired.). Before Neo’s readers think he’s […]

6 surprising benefits of moving to India

It’s no secret that Mrs. Neo isn’t the biggest fan of Neo’s sense of humor – but her decision to make Neo sleep on the couch for the past 3 days seems very harsh indeed. Was Neo’s imitation of Mrs. Neo’s dad’s eating style really all that offensive ? Does he not in fact loudly […]

The secret healing powers of Bangalore’s traffic

Bangalore’s traffic has finally cured Mrs. Neo of acute “backseatdrivingitis”. In all the other great cities of the world, Mrs. Neo has always been the ultimate latte-sipping backseat warrior – a relentless proponent of all the routes that the GPS-following Neo didn’t take. (Mrs. Neo refuses to drive Neo’s car because it’s an automatic – […]