Neo’s return to India was planned somewhat better than the U.S. invasion of Iraq; his Plan was the product of several months of vigorous lurking on the Return to India forums, hours of detailed discussions with his parents in India, and had been vigorously debated, modified, and then finally adopted by the Neos via a [...]

Moving to India has caused Neo to make 180 degree shifts in many of his core opinions (not as dramatic a shift as Neo’s boss though, who once remarked that she’d like to see the company make a 360 degree shift in direction.) Here’s one example: When he lived in the US, Neo believed that [...]

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama. “More than you know it I’m aware, Of this connection that we share. I know it seems like sometimes I don’t care, [...]

How long can Neo call himself a “newly returned Indian” ? It’s been almost three years since he moved to India. But – as Neo said recently to one of his engineers who was denied a promotion – it’s not how long you’ve been doing it, but how well you’ve done it that counts. (Also, [...]

Tongues will always wag, but the truth is that Neo had nothing to do with Mrs. Neo’s decision to dump “part ways amicably with” Ganesh. That was all Ganesh’s doing. As the average reader* will probably agree, haranguing Mrs. Neo constantly about how she was damaging the environment every time she dried her hair wasn’t [...]

It takes Neo’s special grasp of the English language to understand that when Mrs. Neo says “Fine!” at the end of an argument, it is neither the end of the argument, nor does it mean that things are “fine”. It is the same, sophisticated, auto-antonym-grokking intelligence that allows Neo to understand how he can be [...]

“Great job!” said Neo Jr, when Neo accidentally broke the Mikasa fruit bowl (the kind you get when you have no idea what to gift someone) into 18,433 pieces. It’s not like you need more proof that Neo’s son is smarter than yours, but come on, how gifted is a child who can be sarcastic [...]

BRIC countries for the move. Brazil was eliminated because Mrs. Neo thought Neo has an unhealthy appreciation for the beauty of Brazilian women. Russia was eliminated because Mrs. Neo thought Neo has an unhealthy appreciation for Vodka and China eliminated because Neo really wanted to be able to write this blog without the Great Wall [...]

Image via Wikipedia Mrs. Neo’s friend “Amit” in the Bay Area always tells the Neos to “stop sweating the details and look at the big picture”. Amit’s “big picture” plan for returning to India starts with how the US-India nuclear deal and the crash of the US Dollar, coupled with the linking of the rivers [...]

(Speaking of joys, here’s one of Neo’s other big joys in life – his maid getting him the “perfect breakfast” – “keggs organic” single-egg omelet sunny-side-up but flipped over once so it’s not “runny”, with no salt but a sprinkling of pepper, 2 brown bread slices toasted lightly, freshly made non-fat lassi with the cream/froth [...]

Not one to shy away from the occasional delusions of grandeur, Neo often gives his “we choose to move to India not because it is easy, but because it is hard” speech to the sundry relatives and friends who visit Neoville. But last weekend, instead of giving him the usual blank expression and heading towards [...]

The most frequently asked question that this blog’s contact form gets isn’t “Are you really sure Neo isn’t single?”. No – that distinction goes to “How much money should I save up before returning to India” ? (While on the topic of being single, here’s a good rule for married men to follow in pubs: [...]

Neo suggested that Sneha should ignore her past efforts to improve their relationship, such as feigning vegetarianism and a love for Carnatic classical music. She should also ignore the fact that in return for her culinary and auditory sacrifices, said hapless boyfriend had barely scratched the surface of Sneha’s desires (e.g. a normal romantic dinner [...]

2. Asking for the check instead of the bill, and then saying “oops hahaha” – Every waiter in India knows about the check and the bill thing. So pick either “check” or “bill” and stick with it. Or just raise your hand and make that “writing” gesture. They get it. There’s not too many things [...]

Unfortunately, not all of Neo’s older relatives are scientifically-minded. Many have a love-hate relationship with science. They love science when it appears to prove their traditional beliefs (e.g. the health benefits of turmeric). They simultaneously hate science when it challenges traditions (e.g. the health benefits of garlic). (Many in Neo’s family will not hesitate to [...]

Neo thought he’ll play an April Fools day prank on his readers by announcing that he was ending his stay in India and moving back to the Bay Area. But, like any responsible blogger, Neo tests all his pranks on his hapless colleagues at work before  releasing them on his higher-valued blog readership. So he [...]

It is sort of obvious in hindsight – happy people generally stay that way and recreate their state of happiness around them no matter where they stay. And those who are unhappy (usually because of a deeply hidden sense of entitlement), keep finding out that there are plenty of new (and valid) reasons to stay [...]

It’s no secret that Mrs. Neo isn’t the biggest fan of Neo’s sense of humor – but her decision to make Neo sleep on the couch for the past 3 days seems very harsh indeed. In India, Neo’s in-laws make multiple, shorter trips and are more independent than in the US. They take the car [...]

Neo thinks of himself as “penny foolish and pound wise”. Mrs. Neo’s opinions on Neo’s financial wisdom are mostly unprintable – not because Neo is afraid to print swear words, but because this is Neo’s blog! Neo is not obliged to print anything critical of Neo. Mrs. Neo can start her own blog if she [...]

Your move to India will quite possibly be one of the most difficult moves of your life. You will gain a deep, philosophical understanding of the phrase “WTF?!”. But the good news is – you have Neo as a reliable ally, and he will do whatever he can to help. So here is a list [...]