neo
Indian
You can put an Indian back in India, but ...

Category: Elders

A quick overview of Indian values

Neo likes to believe that his NRI friends are eager to visit Neo because they love to listen to his “Thoughts on Critical Issues that Really Matter” speech, the same speech that Neo has prepared in case he gets invited to TED. The reality is, they visit to see how much the Neos have progressed […]

Why it is meaningless to say you’re proud to be an Indian

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama. “More than you know it I’m aware, Of this connection that we share. I know it seems like sometimes I don’t care, […]

10 exciting things that you can only learn by growing up in India

“He probably doesn’t have an ear for melody, so just put him in the Tabla class. But don’t buy a Tabla until he’s practiced on the dinner table for six months” – Music teacher at a prominent music school in Mumbai. These were the inspiring words that started Neo’s musical education at the age of […]

What happens in Vegas ends up as a wedding ceremony in Chennai

Last week Neo finally reconciled with the friend who convinced him that it is considered romantic to propose to South Indian girls with a rava idli instead of a ring. The only reason why Mrs. Neo accepted the proposal was because she probably didn’t know any better (plus there was the slight matter of Neo […]

Shock laga kya ?

Neo’s relatives in India were shocked when he moved to India (“oh but he is so Americanized!”, “he will move back within six months, just watch!”, “Don’t let Sonali be influenced by him, she will also become atheist and then who will marry her?”). The poor relatives were even more hopelessly surprised when they found […]

3 tips to help you connect with youngsters in India

“Premal Uncle is a f*ng jerk. Why did you stay with him every time you visited Mumbai ? Everyone thought you were a jerk too! And come on man, what’s up with the khaki shorts all the time? You really think it’s too f*ng warm to wear jeans like the rest of us ?”. Yes, […]

How to stop faking it and start living in the real India

Not one to shy away from the occasional delusions of grandeur, Neo often gives his “we choose to move to India not because it is easy, but because it is hard” speech to the sundry relatives and friends who visit Neoville. But last weekend, instead of giving him the usual blank expression and heading towards […]

Why creepy men are good for you

Neo is grateful to the creepy man who said “Your hair smells so nice” to Mrs. Neo. And to Mrs. Neo’s next potential “arranged marriage date”, who asked her (on the phone before they had met) – “how often do you pray?”. There are those who say “if it weren’t for the arranged marriage system, […]

How to stop being a pseudo-intellectual and start earning respect after your move to India

Neo’s grandma is just the funniest and the most devastatingly logical person you will ever meet. During Neo’s recent vacation, when his uncle was in the middle of an interminably long soliloquy on pranayama, Neo’s grandma stopped him with “Nonsense. Claiming that using alternate nostrils is beneficial to your breathing is like claiming that eating […]

Was the previous generation really rooted in excellence ?

Neo is all for respecting elders. Elder-worship is such a wonderful ponzi scheme (sort of like social security). But while Neo’s still waiting to grow old and demand his share of elder-worship, he’s getting a little tired of the constant preaching and condescension his (30-something) generation is being subjected to. Here’s the question that Neo […]