But the truly exciting learning opportunities for Neo came on the other six days of the week, when Neo ran amok “played downstairs” in the parking lot of an otherwise un-noteworthy 20-floor Mumbai apartment building. These are some of the exciting thing Neo learned from all those years of unsupervised fun: World War III. Also, [...]

  (Neo couldn’t figure out which set Alcohol belongs to. Probably all three.)

Neo suffered from a rare form of “prostrate cancer”, i.e. the inability to figure out when and how to prostrate himself and perform Namaste. This is the guide he wished he had read then. How to do Namaste (a.k.a. namaskar) There are two major techniques: 1. The I’m-feeling-particularly-humble-today technique: That’s how. Practice it at home. [...]

There is immense business potential in Indian weddings – Neo pitched his startup idea to Mrs. Neo’s rich uncle (before the stock market crashed) during one of Mrs. Neo’s 193 saree changes. Neo calls it the “WTFGO LCD overhead display system”: Problem statement: At any given time, about 80% of the wedding guests and approximately [...]

Neo arrived in India during mosquito-gras – the yearly event in Bangalore when millions of scantily-clad mosquitoes get high and swarm around searching for the Jonas Brothers mosquitoes. The good news is they are so crazed that they forget their mosquito-duty to bite you, and sort of leave you alone – just remember to keep [...]

If you visit Neoville on an average weekend evening (not that Neoville has seen many average weekends lately), you’ll find Mrs. Neo watching her favorite chick flick tasteful movie with tears rolling down her dimple-less cheeks. You’d also find Neo on his laptop, doing what overpaid software managers do most of the time – tweeting, [...]

“Do you feel safer outside a bar or outside a temple?” – a close “moderate” friend triumphantly asked Neo, while making the ok-maybe-its-not-entirely-true-but-its-still-useful case for religion. Well, certainly Neo can concede that there are some temples that are safer than some bars – but (as anyone who’s visited the Kali temple in Kolkata knows), there [...]

(Speaking of joys, here’s one of Neo’s other big joys in life – his maid getting him the “perfect breakfast” – “keggs organic” single-egg omelet sunny-side-up but flipped over once so it’s not “runny”, with no salt but a sprinkling of pepper, 2 brown bread slices toasted lightly, freshly made non-fat lassi with the cream/froth [...]

Not one to shy away from the occasional delusions of grandeur, Neo often gives his “we choose to move to India not because it is easy, but because it is hard” speech to the sundry relatives and friends who visit Neoville. But last weekend, instead of giving him the usual blank expression and heading towards [...]

To be fair, even Mrs. Neo faced rejections. Apparently, the men who inhabit the “men seeking mom-replacement” section on shaadi.com cannot live on highly-simplified lemon rasam alone. Which was an issue, considering “sour lemon rasam” and “extra-sour lemon rasam” make up approximately 95% of Mrs. Neo’s cooking repertoire (the other 5% is her skill in [...]

Neo suggested that Sneha should ignore her past efforts to improve their relationship, such as feigning vegetarianism and a love for Carnatic classical music. She should also ignore the fact that in return for her culinary and auditory sacrifices, said hapless boyfriend had barely scratched the surface of Sneha’s desires (e.g. a normal romantic dinner [...]

Feminists had it wrong all along – the Hindu moral policemen are not waging a war on women, they’re actually waging a war for women – as in literally to get women to marry them. But college changed everything. You never really figured out why the girls despised you so much. You were nearly kicked [...]

The last thing Neo wanted to do after a harrowing day at work was to read about sex with animals, or about superintendents of jails having sex with their inmates. But there really was no escape. It all started with Neo’s reputation for being an “Internet expert” in his family – his grandmother thinks Neo [...]

2. Asking for the check instead of the bill, and then saying “oops hahaha” – Every waiter in India knows about the check and the bill thing. So pick either “check” or “bill” and stick with it. Or just raise your hand and make that “writing” gesture. They get it. There’s not too many things [...]

Unfortunately, not all of Neo’s older relatives are scientifically-minded. Many have a love-hate relationship with science. They love science when it appears to prove their traditional beliefs (e.g. the health benefits of turmeric). They simultaneously hate science when it challenges traditions (e.g. the health benefits of garlic). (Many in Neo’s family will not hesitate to [...]

Update: It just so happens that today is National Cleavage day (hat tip: Vicki Boykis) Neo has always been a regular at the gym, in both the US and now in India. He’s the sort of obsessive-compulsive guy who has three identical sets of gym clothing, so that one can be washed while the other [...]

Neo thought he’ll play an April Fools day prank on his readers by announcing that he was ending his stay in India and moving back to the Bay Area. But, like any responsible blogger, Neo tests all his pranks on his hapless colleagues at work before  releasing them on his higher-valued blog readership. So he [...]

Being an atheist might be trendy, but its actually more boring than most people think. For the most part, there is nothing to do. Those of Neo’s readers who don’t play cricket know the feeling all too well. Its like the whole world is into cricket, and you are, well just not. Atheism is a [...]