That is a different this one
by neo
My friend told neoindian blog is timepass but sorry boss, what a biggest ridiculous blog that I have seen. Sitting in USA you are just putting all this nonsense like loose motion about India. You come here and then we will talk. If you are sitting in India and still telling all these things then better you go to Pakistan.
Let me tell you in simple what is this religion and culture all about? It is nothing but the rules. In INDIA main thing is the decency. Little bit here and there is okay but American culture is too much over-hyped and is the biggest fake. From torrent you can get the real picture; daily the sex tapes are coming; what I am telling you, you must have seen and done everything in USA. Of course whatever they are doing, it is all from Kamasutra. But that is a different this one.
Caste system, women and all that issue that you are making hullabaloo about is very correct; I am not denying. But Aurobindo have already told full details on how to improve Hinduism, so this is nothing very new or very great. But now you see the Muslims; you must be reading. Generally they are killing! Tomorrow just they will come and take your wife or mother what you will do?
So you just see from this side America is coming and from this side Muslims are coming. We will face it what to do.
My main question to you is why such a great computer expert writing all this about INDIA instead of working. What kind of expert you are and whether you are even holding any degree? Even ordinary B.Com. graduate can think of INDIA better than you. First British people looted everything; so much poverty is there; mao people are there; still, somehow, INDIA has gone from here to there. We are coming up like anything so now you so-called NRIs are coming back like Britishers to loot again.
And what more you American people want? Because of you first item numbers started; then gay thing started; AIDS is also too much now. WHAT MORE YOU WANT? We should just dance naked on the road or what? Just because you have the dollar and we have only rupee?
I know why also. I am not so very good at Internet like you computer people but my eyes and ears are sharp. All these useless people are coming to your blog and Twitter and doing Neo Neo, which is just a natak and not a real this one, and you think what a great, fantastic achievement. But just think, how your wife must be feeling? Or she is also like you? I doubt. After all she is a woman.
My advice would be you relax; if you take drinks then have something and just you think calmly about what is your problem. If there is some tension like marriage issue, finance issue, or some other personal problem whatever it is we can sort out. These are all small small things! Why you are taking it out on INDIA and writing nonsense about this, that and all? Better you yourself realize.
No related posts.
ROFLMAX! This guy is seriously pissed. “My advice would be you relax; if you take drinks then have something and just you think calmly about what is your problem.” — It is, I think, the humor issue!! :-D Nice post once again.
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Dibyojyoti,
It really is an issue. Before most “family functions” someone will inevitably request me not to joke. And inevitably I will humor them.
-Neo
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so wait u make fun of ur relatives during family functions? or lecture them abt india’s problems?
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rp:
Neither. I’m very polite, and just say things like “Wow, that’s fascinating” and some people interpret it as humor. Not my fault.
-Neo
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Hahaha!! No shit! If I had been your relative, I would have been scared stiff about a post that would come up on some NeoIndian Blog about how I mistook the Processed Cheese Spread for Butterscotch Ice Cream.
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… that is a different this one. Um running out of reactions. I’ll just hmm around.
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v~,
Sounds good.
-Neo
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I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I am actually doing both after reading this.
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Shail,
There’s nothing worth crying about in this post, I assure you. When I do write posts that are worth crying about, no one seems to notice or care (e.g. my previous post) :P
-Neo
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Too good blog post yaar!
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Thanks Anish :)
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“These are all small small things! Why you are taking it out on INDIA and writing nonsense about this, that and all? Better you yourself realize.”
Haha! Better you yourself realize, otherwise he himself will go bring all and they themselves will join with she herself and make you realize!
Reminded of jeppiar dialogues “I talk he talk why you middle middle talk?”
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Oh I see, jest because you married to South Indian means? Yuvar enjaaying nicely-aa…. Ararara woekay ma, enough leg-pullings.
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…. if there is some tension we will sort it out…..roflll… also @ Mao people… that guy is different this one…
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Shaker Ali,
He sure is. :)
-Neo
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” You laugh and make fun of us only. But you wait. We will get the blog control bill and then when we get your blog banned no, we will point and laugh and burst crackers like anything. ”
;)
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Kislay,
Blog control bill — hahaha.. Errr, you’re kidding right ? RIGHT?
-Neo
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Unfortunately he’s not kidding. It probably won’t get passed after all the hoopla, but it’s a shame that it even had to come up :(
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Even if it does, given our enviable enforcement record, it’ll probably be business as usual. Who would want to censor this blog anyway?
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Neo, neo :)
OMG, finally, after a super long time, this is fantafabulously hilarious!!
I know eggjactly what you are saying, or rather what the “other guy” is saying.
Awesome!
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Joanne,
I thought I’d write a “different this one” post to show that I am still very much the “same old” Neo. :)
-Neo
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New blogs from “good ol’ Neo” are obviously the most popular! Keep ‘em coming….
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Wow, I read the whole thing with a thick Indian accent in my mind without even consciously being aware of it. Good writing. (Unless it’s an actual email)
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HS,
:) May I ask which specific kind of Indian accent it reminded you of?
-Neo
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I guess thick tamil/south indian.Maybe Abu-From-The-Simpsons is the best I can describe it. I subconsciously switched to that mode about half way through the first sentence.
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Sorry Abu/Appu from the Simpsons is a North Indian accent. What with the convenient store and all ….
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Good one! I read this with my FIL in mind and the tone fit exactly!! LOL!
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Awesome post (-:
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Bhopale,
Thanks :)
-Neo
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“But that is a different this one.” it sums all.. bows before thee
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abhi,
Thanks. That is my favorite line of Indian English. I wrote this entire post just to use that line.
-Neo
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THIS IS PERFECTION and now you’ve brought the pralay on us singlehandedly, thanks dude.
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Nandini,
Remember to award Karma points! :)
-Neo
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Lol.. I had to comment: this is a hilarious post (whether as creative writing or as a real email to Neo)
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Empowerment Engineer,
This was not a real email, but many of the emails I get are very creatively written. :)
-Neo
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Of course it wasn’t a real email! The capitalization, punctuation and even the spelling was spot on. You should have ritn lyk dis 2 mk it mre authntk.
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Just we are trying to talk some serious thing and you all are laughing like anything- you foreign return people are just thinking you are some firangs only!
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S,
:)
-Neo
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I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! Since all this is true- and horribly true. People do think like that.
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Rachna,
Many do, many don’t. And the tide is turning against those that do.
-Neo
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I envy you for having got this gem of comment! I think I even recognize a few south Indian speech patterns :)
Loved the part about your wife…after all, she is a woman!
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Bhagwad,
What comment? :P
-Neo
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You mean this is your own creation?! Seriously?
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But just think, how your wife must be feeling? Or she is also like you? I doubt. After all she is a woman.
Right, cause you know,women aren’t capable of being witty or intelligent. ;)
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Women yes, feminists no.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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I beg to differ, but you’re entitled to your opinion.
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Q.E.D
Hot debate. What do you think?
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lol hilarious stuff
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swordfish, thanks :)
-Neo
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I am not reading this…it will be spoiling my English….but looks like I myself have read it already….but seriously why do you write bad things about your INDIA? Why not you be writing about our great past?
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Probably because the past is past…very little to feel proud about what some strangers did hundreds of years ago with whom I share nothing but some clumps of DNA.
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Although your liberal instincts are to blame here, Giribala’s humour is sometimes subtle enough to be non-existent.
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I like this definition :-)
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Giribala,
What’s the difference ? A post about our great past is equivalent to a post about our not-so-great present.
-Neo
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“In INDIA main thing is the decency. Little bit here and there is okay but American culture is too much …”
That’s called understanding and respecting the Indian culture.
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IHM,
Truth.
-Neo
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This is brilliant, I hope it is a piece of creative writing …. If its a real person, my sympathies with him/her.
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Phoenixritu,
I am a real person, and so thanks for your sympathies. :)
-N
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did you really get THAT!! OMG it thgt all these kinds only turn up on ToI comments page
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gautham,
I read through many of those ToI/rediff comments (err for research only), but those didn’t “sound” right to me, i.e. when you read them aloud they didn’t sound like an Indian English speaker. I’m not sure if other people see this, but there are actually two kinds of Indian English: the spoken kind and the written kind. I was going for the former in this post.
-Neo
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spot on, we have two very distinct ways (ab)using the language. that is the sole reason why Indian-origin,english content never works on TV or movies.
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u’ve got some flair man…would have eased into ad copy writing any day. Do you have a mail id?
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Alterego: neo at neoindian dot org
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Excuse me! This blog does the “Vickie Guerrero” on comment trollers. I promise to fight for their cause!
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Lalit,
Not sure what Vickie Guerrero is, but I hope your fight is just and non-violent. :)
-Neo
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Jr Neo will know all the stars of WWE including their general manager Vickie. Her fights are just only when her boyfriend is in the ring!
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Out with it – how many Rediff commenters are your sockpuppets? :D
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i_r_squared,
Not quite there yet. Baby steps. :)
-Neo
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:) ROFL…..hey am moving to bengaluru in two months. Should brush up on my English a little bit to fit in better :) lol.
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lrao,
Not only that, you need to brush up on being comfortable with many different Englishes at the same time. The good news is you have much bigger problems to deal with. :)
-Neo
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Too, too funny! What an outrage you have perpetrated Neo! But what are “mao people”?? does he mean communists?
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Cam,
Mao people are the Maoists.
-Neo
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ROFL! This is way too funny!
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shveta,
glad you liked it :)
-Neo
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Who has been stalking you Neo:-) ROFL!!!! another gem from you!!!
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Minal,
No one that should be. :)
-Neo
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Awesome. One of the *actually* ROFL moments I had.
Well, the guy was totally extravagant. Not.
Oh Neo, keep the posts coming. Can’t finish my tea without you. :)
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Ravi,
You’re too kind, I will try. :)
-Neo
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The whole post is having the very much Mamata Di – Bappi Da feel…. – I am like – I am listening to them speaking only. The main thing is that we are the very decent and also the very cultured. And the thoughts of this person are to be appreciate.
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abhility,
god bless you my child.
-n
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Hilarious!
The ‘Indian English’ had me giggling.
The blog-post captures the typical Indian responses to many serious issues with self-deprecating humor.
Keep it coming. :-)
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Prakash,
Thanks :)
-n
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You useless fellow! You thinking you making fun of my type of English in your hi-fi blog. Wait, till I call my brothers at Hindi Jagran Samiti and they will take good care of you. You are the Chetan Bhagat of Indian culture.
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Half,
In one of Chetan Bhagat’s books, I remember reading the line “She started laughing.”
So I started thinking, “well, did she ever stop laughing?” So I started skipping pages, and started looking for the spot where the girl stops laughing.
The girl never stopped laughing, and I never stopped skipping.
Now I have a sneaky feeling that the girl didn’t start laughing. She just laughed.
-n
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“Now I have a sneaky feeling that the girl didn’t start laughing. She just laughed.”
Not only is the original post making me laugh ’til I cry, but also, this comment! It’s 11 at night and everyone thinks I’m crazy… that’s how hard I’m laughing. You’re gonna have me evicted!
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Phew! Cracking up like crazy. A bloody hilarious post! Totally relate to this Chennaiish language. Man u rock!
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Balajee,
thanks :)
-n
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What man, you are too funny!
I have to admit, I have never heard the line “But that is a different this one”. I am going to use it too.
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Revati,
I used it at work a few times already. I have a colleague named Revati at work, and I hope it’s not you. :P
-n
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Too good a post. Very good start for the day.
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“In india main thing is the decency.”
Bullshit.
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And look what you are done again.
You sit in your nice office and writing crap about India, but what are you doing for the country?
These NRIs are all waste people.
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only.
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‘Britishers’! Ha!
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I wonder which aspect of the sentiment you are targetting. Is it the moral hypocrisy and ignorance? Or is the fact that he/she is peeved with peeved with NRIs who criticise and yada-yada?
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neo,
awesome.
while reading this, i was reminded of Russell’s show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4PR19MTrgc
Fantttaaaastic… mind-blaasting:)
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Take a bow, people ACTUALLY think some one wrote this to you!
Very good hai jee, too much ho sir aap!
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The line on the gay thing reminded me of another blog I read a while back:
“Ennadhaan payyana love pannaalum, atleast Iyengar payyana paathu love pannane, adhuve porum”
Translation : Even though he loved a boy, at least he loved an Iyengar boy, that’s enough for me.
you can find the whole post here
http://www.chutneycase.com/2008/11/deviance.html
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Hilarious,truly…
“In INDIA main thing is the decency. Little bit here and there is okay …”
…meaning a button here, a button there,not…is okay?eh?
Okay I agree..That is a different this one… :D
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I rolled on the floor laughing reading this. especially the part where he is “all these people are coming to you on twitter and facebook and doing neo neo… ” hahaha… Suweeet! Keep writing man.
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Neo this is too much funny boss. Myself return to India from foreign also, and I am totally relating to what all you are writing in your blog.
But only reason I am getting angry is that you are writing too little. What is this yaar? Your full generation is too lazy, wasting god given talents only .
Okay, that was my inferior attempt at imitating your eloquent Indian English, but you should seriously post more often. :-)
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Loved the post. And hats off for the style used in the post. Few can get that right unless exposed to it.
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Sumit: I have been too much exposed to it. :|
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I’ll have what you’re smoking, please. Great job, Neo.
This one was a different that one from your others, frankly, and you’ve maarofied the nail on the head.
Jai Ho Ho Ho…and a bottle of rum.
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It is all so clear now. I understand. Everything. Really I do. …….
(and me, I read it with a Keralan/English accent)
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Andrea: “Keralan” ? Is that a common alternate for keralite? Haven’t heard that one before..
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It may be, but then it could also just be my ignorance?
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Hahaha beautiful! Reminded me of stereotypical middle aged government servants! However, you succeeded in projecting the average middle class Indian’s closed mind, license raj era thinking and inability to learn.
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“…sorry boss, what a biggest ridiculous blog that I have seen. Sitting in USA you are just putting all this nonsense like loose motion about India.” and the “INDIA” bits were just superb! :) looks like it takes an NRI to know the ‘real’ indian :)
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such a true this is. we are like this only. so much fun it is to be reading this!
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I just have three words (or alphabets) to add: LOL!
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too good! this is really a different post, this one.
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Fantabulous! Saar, you are rocking only!
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