An important letter to my son, written during commercial breaks on TV
by neo
You didn’t cry when you were born; you just looked around the room with an expression that said, “Brighter than I expected, but whatever. Are all nurses this good-looking ? Why are y’all staring at me ? Shock laga kya?” You were Definitely Male, Born Tough, Like.No.Other. – The Best A Man Can Get. So, dearest son, I’m writing you this letter to give you some Ideas For Life, to Make Tomorrow Brighter.
Right now, Life’s Good, and you’ve learned to Express Yourself nicely; you must also become a good listener and a voracious reader, because an Idea Can Change Your Life, as long as you’re good at Applying Thought.
Travel. It will help you become you the Complete Man. Make It Large while you’re still single. Get a Taste of India and experience the King of Good Times. Once you get married – and especially if or after you have kids – your life will be like, Fill it, Shut it and Forget it.
Approximately one out of every ten people is gay. However you’re wired, it’s not weird. You might even change your mind after you grow up – There’s Nothing Official About It. Whichever gender you’re attracted to, No Confusion, Great Combination.
Marry someone only when you feel you’re Made For Each Other. Make sure your partner shares your passions and is physically fit – Taste bhi, health bhi – because the Axe Effect wears off, and no one can be Gorgeous Hamesha. Have an inexpensive wedding – the money you spend on A Diamond Is Forever.
Like me, you will probably grow up to hate your extended family. They’re like, Wherever You Go, Our Network Follows; It’s Everywhere You Want To Be. But they will let you Drive Your Way after they realize that you keep Going and Going and Going. So Simplifly, Reclaim Your Life and Just Do It, Because You’re Worth It.
Thanks to our Indian genes, I will most likely die of heart failure. I hope that I die while I’m still healthy, because I hate medicines – Once You Pop, You Can’t Stop. And after I’m gone, I hope this letter will remind you: the most important thing in life is to Think Hatke – because the only thing that is truly Utterly Butterly Delicious is irony.
Is It In You ? I know that it is. Profit From It.
-Dad
PS: I might have led you to believe that I’m A Complan Boy, but you’re now ready for the truth: Boost was always the Secret Of My Energy. (Don’t tell your mom; I’m not yet ready to Taste The Thunder.)
*
Inspired, sort of, by this, and by many hashtags on Twitter.
No tips on Sex life? What about ‘Yeh Dil Maange More’? :D
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
ha ha..sad but true :P
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
will share this with daughter..just need to make a few edits..
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“…Take The World In Your Stride. There Are Some Things Money Can’t Buy. Get The Real Thing. Because You’re Worth It. Varna Doohndte Reh Jaaoge.”
-g
PS: Would you believe I started out on an uncannily similar post after a very long time last week? (Just not tag lines). Needless to say, the draft is discarded :-P
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
4 
0
g,
Well, dig it out of your discarded drafts folder and post it already. Knowing you, the post will only be cannily similar, and vastly funnier. :)
-N
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
10 
0
I’m a big fan of this blog, but this post was a let down. Reminiscent of an old email forward with a Love letter written purely with tag lines. Please write a funnier one next time! :) Just like the other previous ones.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
7 
2
Tastemaster,
Thanks for the feedback. Hopefully the next post will be more to your liking. :)
-N
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike:
1 
4
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Neo, Rahul Jauhari, Rahul Jauhari, Pranav Backliwal, Shriraj Mohan and others. Shriraj Mohan said: RT @neo_indian An important letter to my son, written during commercial breaks on TV http://bit.ly/dzbCOT [...]
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Incredible! ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ROFL! #epicwin
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
For a casual reader this may look just funny. But one needs a lot of observation and imagination to write it. Hilarious!
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
Totally awesome! May I circulate it in my office? With due credit of course. I’m a writer in an advertising agency :p
Like or Dislike:
0 
1
I agree with tastemaster – somehow this post disappoints and is so not neoindian !
you set the bar quite high with your earlier posts…. !
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
Hey Dad, you are so original :-)
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
I liked it…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Some people didn’t like it because it did not have a Shubh Arambh
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike:
1 
4
hehehe.. advice i’d give to my son. Thank god the girlfriend doesn’t want any.
P.S. check this out. modest stint by me and my gang… http://bit.ly/8XrYez
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Neil,
Nice work! You guys need a website, though!
-Neo
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
A hilarious post… That’s what has become of us as the television lights our face every waking hour!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
nice post :) And it is so important to ‘Express Yourself’ and ‘Be all that you can be’. But while you do that, make sure that you are ‘Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values’ :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0