A letter from a guy who was killed in a recent terror attack
by neo
Dear all,
Thank you for the outpouring of sympathy over my death in the recent terror attack. I’m the guy whose remains were never identified, but my car keys were found in the rubble. I wish that I never really died and that I had just decided to drop my car keys in after the bombing – you know, just to stage my disappearance. But no – I’m really dead.
First and most important: I’d like to thank the honorable ministers of Home, Railways, Finance and Refrigeration who personally visited the site. When my sister died in a road accident we got only one phone call – ICICI bank approved her request for a credit limit increase. So, your personal visits really mean so much.
I also want to thank the thousands of security personnel who provided a security cordon that made the whole area really safe. Well, after the attack at least. LOL.
So this other guy who died with me is going on and on, complaining about about how Bono isn’t doing a concert for us. Well, deal with it, buddy – not everyone is fortunate enough to die in a terrorist attack that deserves a relief concert. Besides, considering that I only got RT’ed five times when I was alive, it feels really good to trend on Twitter for a whole day.
I’m so proud to have stayed in my strong and resilient city. The government deserves praise for allowing the people of my city the freedom to experience so many terror attacks in the last few years: it has given us our indomitable spirit. My city will take these attacks in its stride. We’re so much better than those sissy cities where every murder is a big deal.
I want to tell my wife: Honey I told you to learn how to use the home theater remote controls. Now that I’m not around, if you need to switch from TV to DVD, get our neighbor Biren to teach you. But don’t get too friendly – you know how he is. Oh, and remember – our codeword is Eggplant. If any psychic uses this word, you’ll know it’s me!
Ok, they’re saying my Internet time is up. I have to log off now.
All that remains to be said is: (get it ? “remains” ? ROFL I always wanted to be a standup! Gosh it sucks to be dead.) Thanks for reading this. Well I’m not really thankful, but my mom taught me to be polite. You know, I think it is very rude to kill people. Considering that I got angry at people just for jumping ahead of me in the grocery checkout line, you can imagine how pissed I am at the people who killed me.
Darn, I had so many things lined up. This was such a bad time to die. I never really celebrated Valentine’s day, but this time I thought I’d surprise my wife.
Okay they’re saying if I don’t log off now, they’re going to turn o….
*
:)
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Very good stab at black comedy.
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:)
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wonderfully written the reality which is sad but true!
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The smile’s a little wobbly…
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liked the part about RT’s and trending topics….
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very well written….
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Thanks for giving voice to the dead. Well written
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The guy might also say ‘To all the hooligans who went about disrupting a movie, thanks to you cause I missed that movie. I also terribly missed the police that may have just been at this venue instead of patrolling cinema halls’.
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I never choose to debate others opinion, but this once let me say, it’s totally foolish to say that MNIK dumb-ass-ness made this blast possible or easier, or that the absense of it could have averted this. It’s like saying the government can either maintain law and order OR fight terrorism.
What could have averted this are matters I don’t think someone with such an opinion could grasp!
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Pardon me, I know we haven’t met and I don’t mean to be rude….but I have to say that based off your statement I don’t believe someone with such an opinion could grasp the meaning of the ripple effect.
While I don’t believe that what happened with MNIK is the ONLY reason why “people unknown” were able to bomb us here in Pune and at German Bakery….I DO believe that it contributed to it.
You see, I LIVE here. I visited German Bakery often. I went past there frequently. For the past two months there was always a police officer (or two) stationed outside. There were generally more over by Osho and the Chabbad house. But recently there have been less and they’ve been seen more in the area’s of theater’s and shopping area’s. Why? Because one person decided to incite riots and instead of asking people to protest by not attending, he asked his activists to attack us (the innocent every day people just trying to live out our lives without worrying about being attacked by our own political/religious/moral “leaders”), the theaters and unsuspecting movie posters.
Many things contributed to the ease in which this bombing took place. The lack of movement by the government on sensitive information being given to them by other country’s intelligence agency’s. The blatant disregard of information publicly displayed in the anti-Indian rally in Pakistan (in which PUNE was one of the cities mentioned as a possible attack site). The loss of a police station in Yerawada to a private builder. And the list goes on….
But the fact that I have been feeling unsafe for several days in my own city because one man threatened violence if I went to see a movie….that I cannot forgive. That I cannot forget. And that I know, also contributed to the German Bakery bombing.
If you live in India and care for it’s people, should you not be more a part of the solution rather than adding to the problem?????
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It is a movie that is optional to watch, for cryin’ out loud, not someone swinging their fist almost until it reaches where your nose begins! What is the big, damn deal?
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I understand what you are saying Gori, and I too don’t mean to be rude, but what you have written is exactly what I am opposing, so you are saying that since police wanted to maintain law and order (today its for MNIK tomorrow it can be for any goddamn thing) it could not combat terrorism?
Don’t get me wrong I am with you totally on how the whole MNIK fiasco is wrong on so may levels, all I am saying is such issues can and will keep coming up, we cannot use that as an excuse or blame these for making acts of terrorism possible. Think about it.
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Kusum Rohra,
I think perhaps you are the one who isn’t thinking about what I wrote.
I am saying that more often than not, the government and its offices (including any affiliation such as the Police Force) have a tendency of being forced to choose between protecting law and order or fighting terrorism. Whether they make these choices due to internal corruption, lack of funds/training/experience, obstinacy or just plain ignorance does not change the fact that I believe at this stage it’s an either or neither situation.
Howsoever, HERE IS THE MAIN POINT. The law and order that the police were providing was not for MNIK or SRK but for the people going to attend a movie or shopping in those areas. If the police have to go, in force, to one location (or one kind of location) to protect the people from physical harm should it matter what it’s for?
Terrorism is terrorism whether it comes from within or without.
Here is a question for you. There were eight locations attacked in Mumbai on 26/11, starting at the Terminus. How many police do you think were available to quickly respond to or be at the location of the Leopold Café? Or the Cama Hospital? Or the Metro Cinema? Especially since it’s already been proven that they were woefully unprepared for such an attack and the allocated “funds” to make changes are still not so allocated even a year later.
Hence my statement to be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.
Perhaps this will make it clear what I am saying:
ter⋅ror⋅ism [ter-uh-riz-uhm]
–noun
1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.
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That you expect nuisance creating parties to be part of the solution is one thing and its great, but that you think if they create nuisance our Police force can use it as an excuse for their incapability to fight terrorism is totally another issue. You are saying the MNIK issue contributed to the bombing, all I am saying is IRRESPECTIVE of such issues the bombing shouldn’t happen.
I think I have invested enough time here in trying to make you see what I am saying. kthanxbai.
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Sorry Kusum, that I have been such an irritable waste of your time….
Let’s see if I can make this as simple as possible so that you can understand what it is I’m saying. This way, if it’s simple, you may actually read what I write, understand what I’m saying, and not put opinions/words on me that I do not have or did not say. Ok? :)
Police had fault in that they weren’t sufficiently prepared.
Shiv Sena had fault in that they are causing issues from within.
End of story.
PS: I never said that the police could use that as an excuse. I said that Shiv Sena contributed to the problem that the police were already facing. YOU said that the Shiv Sena were in no way responsible for the bombing and I disagreed by saying that they were as they contributed to an already known and existing problem (ie: the issues with the police force).
I think the problem here is that you are READING INTO what I’m saying and putting your own opinions or bias into it. After rereading our comments, we essentially agree. It’s just that I seem more ticked off at the whole Shiv Sena thing and you seem more ticked off at the police inadequacy thing. It all amounts to the same thing….there are issues within the government and they aren’t doing a darn thing to fix them.
kthnxbai
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* raises white flag * pliss mujhe baksh do meri maa.
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SOOOOOOOOO not fair!!!!!! :P
Ok, I got the mujhe, meri, and maa parts I THINK. They are references to ‘you’ (ie: I, me, myself, etc) respectfully. And maa is mother I think???? Maybe????
But what is pliss, baksh, and do???
See? I’m totally not above admitting defeat in this arena and definitely have no problem showing my inadequacy in Hindi/Marathi. LOL
So now I AM the one raising the white flag! :) lol Plus, the husband isn’t at home or online so I can’t ask him to translate for me.
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Sarcasm at its best! :) I love reading your blog!
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:)
Start working on that book :P
g
PS: The codeword, eggplant – that sounded uncannily like us. We have something just like that!
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You have something just like Eggplant ? You mean, Brinjal ? :P
-N
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“Considering that I got angry at people just for jumping ahead of me in the grocery checkout line, you can imagine how pissed I am at the people who killed me.”
There could be so many considering that I got angry because pedestrians came in front on my car..so many things in our city of indomitable ‘spirit’. Well written, Neo! :)
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How much in compensation for next of kin did the minister announce for your death? What is the going rate these days?
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“And hey .. the minister who said this *might* be a terrorist attack.. how’d u think he got reached that unbelieveable and impossible conclusion? I planted that idea in his head post-humously .. that’s how”
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Reality with a tinge of sarcasm is Neo_Indian. :)
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Feels funny to be reading this after last night’s Pune blasts. Are you sure your psychic codeword ain’t German?
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http://neoindian.org/2010/02/13/a-letter-from-a-guy-who-was-killed-in-a-recent-terror-attack/
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:( :)
Had to smile at the remote controls bit.
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Dark and really impactful. I love this post of yours.
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Good One !! .. sounds so bad to say ‘Good one’ to this
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[...] A letter from a guy who was killed in a recent terror attack | neoIndian Thank you for the outpouring of sympathy over my death in the recent terror attack. I’m the guy whose remains were never identified, but my car keys were found in the rubble. I wish that I never really died and that I had just decided to drop my car keys in after the bombing – you know, just to stage my disappearance. But no – I’m really dead… I’m so proud to have stayed in my strong and resilient city. The government deserves praise for allowing the people of my city the freedom to experience so many terror attacks in the last few years: it has given us our indomitable spirit. My city will take these attacks in its stride. We’re so much better than those sissy cities where every murder is a big deal. (tags: terror terrorism attacks attitude satire) [...]
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I was in Pune that day, ate breakfast with hubby and a cousin of mine there at 7.00 am, went on and on about how I absolutely LOVED that place.
Husband and I chose to go to a friends place instead of going to German Bakery for coffee, around 6.30 pm. Approximately 30 mins after we reached my friends place the blast rattled the windows of her house which was 5 lanes away from German Bakery.
It was such a close call that I’m still fighting off this deep set sadness, this time it could have been me and husband. Either dead or amputee or injured. Right now feeling really scared. It’s aw-aw-awful. I wish there is something we can do to work towards stopping this madness.
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Thank God you ‘n hubby are all right.
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A letter from a guy who was killed in a recent terror attack http://bit.ly/9FhwAw
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http://neoindian.org/2010/02/13/a-letter-from-a-guy-who-was-killed-in-a-recent-terror-attack/
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Thanks Neo…. :)
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[...] : Neo Indian What : A letter from a guy who was killed in a recent terror attack Tangy: This is one of the best posts in recent past. A post where the message is hidden behind the [...]
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First, congrats on the Blogadda pick. Truly well deserved. Loved the post, it brought out all the sadness through the biting sarcasm.
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Truly wonderful wonderful post….a tear is about to come out… :( really sounds so bad to say ‘Good one’ to this
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Thanks to Neo….http://bit.ly/9FhwAw “A letter from a guy who was killed in a recent terror attack” Pune India German Bakery
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Raju,
The big damn deal is that I LIVE here unlike some people who just visit (and btw…thanks for saying “Thank God me and my hubby were alright too”…we were in the area all day long).
I don’t care about the movie and actually haven’t even been to see it. But I do….excuse me, DID….go to German Bakery frequently.
Also, I have had to be more careful whenever I went shopping in a complex with a theater.
WHY? Because I would get accosted by people in a threatening manner asking me if I was going in to watch MNIK.
Therefore, I haven’t felt safe going to those stores….some of which were the only ones to carry things that I NEEDED (not wanted/trivial items).
Hence….the ripple effect.
THAT is the BIG DAMN DEAL. :) Have a nice day.
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Gosh! What I feared is what happened… I was thinking that I would be misconstrued because I wasn’t clear enough, and I was misconstrued! Sorry.
I meant… what is the big, damn deal to the person who threatened violence if people went and watched a movie approved by the Censor Board of India –the proper and only authority sanctioned to say ‘Yea’ or ‘Nay’ to a movie? We should be able to watch it! It is optional and if some group / party / leader wants to advise their people to not watch it, so be it.
In the U.S., there are Christian Family organisations that advise their members on the family-friendliness of each movie that is released. That is their choice. Isn’t it? Hope this clarifies what I meant.
Again, sorry for not being clear enough and sorry you had to go through this. It affects all of us on a larger scale and we are all in this together.
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Ack! I am so sorry Raju for misunderstanding you! My sincere apology’s. :)
I told Neo earlier:
….German Bakery was this cool little place for me to go that was a link to back home….The apple strudel tasted just like my great Aunt Mary’s. The people that went there was like this little pocket representation of what Pune is at it’s heart. I loved it, I associated home with it. What happened freaked me out. It was like my home got hit twice. My American association one and my Pune one.
My HUGE apology’s. I should have asked you to clarify first. :) And yes, we are all in this together!!!!
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Phew! I’m soooo relieved. :-)
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Fantastic and sarcastic…
Your post addressed so many issues without being a rant..Kudos Neo :)
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Thanks :)
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Reality written wonderfully with a tint of sarcasm.
Keep writing!!
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Hmmm…dark comedy…loved it. Sarcastic & yet so true!
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Its all so very sad, and isnt it just awesome to see the shitload of hypocrisy going around in the world these days…
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amreekandesi,
If the aliens are watching us, they’ve probably called us click-foo-shlurp, which translates roughly to “WTF is Going On Planet”.
-N
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morbidly funny. Liked the dig at our politicians thrusting the virtue of resilience on us! :)
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Witty article
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Must read to every one..!! If you find some time, read teh mastero of sarcasm on politics..!! http://bit.ly/9FhwAw
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Hi Neo
i have being lurking around in ur blog for a couple of weeks now and must say ur writing & wit makes me come back each time to read more…Have raided all your archives and truly enjoyed them :)
Keep writing !
PS: am very closely associated with Pune and needless to say this post stuck a chord immediately !
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Payoshni,
Thanks for the encouragement. :)
-Neo
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arghhh …
hate my name to be spelt wrongly…the ‘extra i’ totally kills me !!!
but since ur such a good blogger, your let off with a small warning ;)
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What extra i ? :P
-Neo
PS: it’s wonderful to have your own blog where you can go and edit anything. :P
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Mean Mean ;P
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http://neoindian.org/2010/02/13/a-letter-from-a-guy-who-was-killed-in-a-recent-terror-attack/ – Tears is all I have tonight.
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RT @shivendram: http://neoindian.org/2010/02/13/a-letter-from-a-guy-who-was-killed-in-a-recent-terror-attack/ – Tears is all I have tonight.
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http://neoindian.org/2010/02/13/a-letter-from-a-guy-who-was-killed-in-a-recent-terror-attack/ – Tears is all
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http://neoindian.org/2010/02/13/a-letter-from-a-guy-who-was-killed-in-a-recent-terror-attack/
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