The Undibloggies awards – the Indibloggies for the rest of us (featuring 10 awards that the Indibloggies refused to allow)

by neo

Neo is already having second thoughts about calling his version of the Indibloggies the “Undibloggies”, because he’s tired of explaining that it has nothing to do with the winning bloggers being forced to pose in their underwear while receiving the award (but yes, there was no dearth of sponsors for such an event).

But folks, first a word about this year’s Indibloggies: they are totally different from last year’s Indibloggies, mostly because last year the Indibloggies did not happen, as the organizer puts it, “due to some failed happenings and pressures at work” [sic].

But now that’s behind us, and now, in November 2009, we’re finally off to the shiny, brand-new Indibloggies 2010 2009 2008!

(The astute reader will notice that Neo is not nominated for an award. But Neo didn’t notice that at all, or at least he stopped noticing it after the 6th shot of vodka, by which time he was already writing his acceptance speech for winning the Indibloggies 2009 in 2010 2011. He’s also drafted an apology letter addressed to Mrs. Neo for the post-award celebrations that are sure to get out of hand.)

Blogging is different, risqué, exciting and all very new media! So what better way to honor the creative minds behind the Indian blogosphere than to have award categories that seem mostly to be picked out of Neo’s high-school curriculum in 1984, e.g. “humanities”, “science” and “sports” ?

But this post is about those categories that were just not considered good enough to meet the Indibloggies’ exacting standards – the categories for the rest of us!

Well then, without any drumroll, but hopefully with lots of wardrobe malfunction, the Undibloggies features awards in these categories:

1. Most generically named blog of the year:

“Random thoughts about stocks, cooking, foreign relations, personal relationships with foreigners, philosophy and music from sudeep1984_4u !!! Also, remember to check my Twitter feed, which will really test your faith in freedom of expression! C’mon ya everyone put comments!!!”

2. Best use of other blogs to promote your own blog:

“That was an awesome post about your fight with cancer. You know, on the topic of cancer, I think the traffic in Bangalore is a cancer too, a subject that <a href=”http://myblog.com/randomhorriblyformattedpost.html”>I wrote about</a> recently. Check <a href=”myblog”>my blog</a> out!!

How to Overcome Writer's Block

3. Best use of questions at the end of every post to elicit comments:

“.. and so that’s what I thought about Taare Zameen Par which I just happened to watch with my mother. What do you feel about your mother? Write about it in the comments!  xoxoxoxo”

4. Blog topic most distant from field of expertise:

“Which precise provisions should be removed from the US healthcare bill so as to contain the US fiscal deficit, rein in future inflation, temper the growth in China, and hence slow down global warming, as analyzed in 10 minutes by a fresher Oracle database administrator in Software4Less Web Designs Pvt. Ltd. in Kolkata, posted in a hurry because his boss just walked in”.

5. Least responsive blogger of the year:

“I get so many comments on my blog I can’t respond to them all, unless your name is vaguely feminine (wink). Now, I need to get back to browsing through this gallery of 2000 free WordPress themes. Or maybe I’ll just copy inspire my theme from a lesser known blogger that no one reads.”

6. BILF – Blogger I’d like to f.. follow:

So this is one category that you should not worry about if its not instantly obvious. But if it is instantly obvious, then you already know it’s hard to pick just one. Who said being a voter was easy?

7. Most thinly disguised conflict-of-interest in a blog

“Unbiased reviews of social media marketing companies from the lady who just left a marketing job at BigAcme Ltd, and is now starting a social media marketing company. We report, you decide!”

8. Most apologetic blogger

“Sorry for not posting for almost a month, even though I had promised in my last apology to post every day. Also, sorry for the typos I made in the last post. Ok, now I have to run for class. I promise I’ll post more tomorrow. Sachin rocks ZOMG!”

9. Emperor’s clothes blog award

“The blog that everyone says they read but actually everyone just skims over because it stopped being relevant in 1998 and is now out of touch with everything except the writer’s ego.”

9b. Lifetime achievement award

See previous award.

10. Least pithy blogger of the year

(a.k.a. Pithiless blogger of the year)

“No really, there’s a recession on. There’s never been a more jobless bigger audience for your very detailed 2000+ word posts – because as we all know, until you decided to write about it, not enough had been written about how twitter will change the world Google Wave!”

—–

So those were the award categories! Do you have any nominees ? Suggestions for other categories ? Or really, anything else to say? Just please write something, anything in the comments below! (Not that Neo cares. It’s not like he’s needy or anything. And he never blogs in his underwear.)

Here’s your moment of zen:

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