Shefaly (69)
Easily Amused (61)
Roshni (50)
Mallika (27)
Kislay Chandra (23)
gauri (22)
Gori Girl (22)
Dinesh (21)
Joanne (19)10 television ads that will teach you everything you need to know about India
If you visit Neoville on an average weekend evening (not that Neoville has seen many average weekends lately), you’ll find Mrs. Neo watching her favorite chick flick tasteful movie with tears rolling down her dimple-less cheeks. You’d also find Neo on his laptop, doing what overpaid software managers do most of the time – tweeting, blogging and checking mail.
Apart from the sound of breaking glass or a nuclear explosion (both of which are within the realm of possibility when Neo Jr is playing with his friends), there are only two reasons for Neo to look up from his laptop.
1. Mrs. Neo’s crying escalates to the “sobbing uncontrollably” level, indicating that the movie is almost over. This presents an opportunity to distract Mrs. Neo by saying “how about ordering some bhel?” and switching to sports. (Which just means it’s Neo’s turn to sob uncontrollably – it is not easy to be an Arsenal fan.)
2. A commercial break starts. Neo will always pay close attention to the ads (especially new ones) that run on Indian television. If Neo ever moves back to the US, he will never spend $60 on crappy “mega-pack” Indian channels – but he would pay to subscribe to a 24-hour advertising channel:
There is no better way to stay in touch with India than by watching television ads.
Where else would you learn these valuable lessons about India, in less than 2 minutes a piece?
1. Do your research before you buy gifts for folks in India
Neo spent many years thinking that his relatives in India loved the boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates he bought during the panicky dash to SFO. (In one especially egregious lapse of judgment, Neo decided that Ziploc bags would be a great, unique and thoughtful gift). In hindsight, it was obvious that Neo (and you) are in about as much trouble as the “NRI” in this ad:
2. Smoking increases the likelihood of being picked up by girls
Yes, it does:
3. “Ending the pregnancy is better than abortion”
Mrs. Neo claims that the only reason Neo loves this ad is because Neo is crazy for this sort of girl-next-door look. While the protagonist is certainly not unattractive, Neo is not one to swoop down like a vulture and hit on a damsel-in-distress. That is just lame and is not the “Neo way”. (But yes, does anyone know the name of the actress in this ad?)
4. Feminists agree: Indian women need men to protect them
Indian feminists have their work cut out for them – This “award winning” feminist ad features (wait for it) a man riding to protect a damsel-in-distress.
(In Neo’s version of this ad, the woman does this flying move from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and gives the men a karate kick in their cojones, only to discover that they don’t have any – at which point she whips out the pepper spray from her purse and gives the men something literally spicy to look at. (Draupadi does something similar to the Kauravas in Neo’s version of the Mahabharata.))
5. A dog is more useful than you think
6. How to get rid of your husband’s silly male friends
Rather than sending furtive text messages to Neo from across the living room saying “Don’t you think this party has gone on for way too long?”, perhaps Mrs. Neo could take some pointers from this ad:
7. How to dance
Stop sending your kids to those silly “Bollywood dancing” classes, and make them watch the end of this next ad. That is the way to dance like an Indian (any resemblance to Neo’s dancing technique is purely coincidental).
8. Respect the national anthem
This song is famous in Neoville because 1. it’s famous! and 2. Cousin Preeti physically attacked Neo after watching this ad, simply because he offered her Kleenex!
9. How to name your children
And you thought your child had an unfortunate name ?
10. How to conduct market research in India
Doing business in India is never easy for foreign companies, but sometimes success is more surprising than failure:
And finally, your moment of zen
And finally as a shout out to all those dinosaur NRIs who left India “back in the day”, here are your moments of zen:
What is your favorite Indian ad ? Tell Neo in the comments!
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Category: culture 31 comments »
September 11th, 2009 at 1:16 am
I think some of the older Dairy Milk ads should also be on the list.
The cricket one.
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September 11th, 2009 at 6:28 am
I really liked the iPill ad.
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September 11th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Not that you will, but if you really are crazy enough to move back to the US, the “crappy “mega-pack” Indian channels” might just be worth $60 (and a lot more) only for its generous dose of ads. Yes, there will be interruptions from annoying programs, but that’s for taking care of mundane things like dishes, topping your pizza with Olives etc.
g
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September 11th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
There is no better way to stay in touch with India than by watching television ads.
Maan gaye ustaad!
(At which point, you presumably say, arre huzoor wah taj boliye. Or something.)
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September 11th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Thanks….Hamara Bajaj made my day.
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September 12th, 2009 at 12:01 am
i’ve got to admit, this post threw me into an advertisement-watching frenzy..
and then, i landed on this advert – a classic “kuch khaas hain” from cadbury..
..somehow, there’s nothing more quintessentially indian than that ad – i wonder why we don’t get to see masterpieces like that one more often :-/
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September 12th, 2009 at 3:53 am
[...] to the neo indian, there is no better way to stay in touch with India than by watching television [...]
September 13th, 2009 at 1:24 am
Nice compilation, and i agree that Indian ads are pretty creative compared to the stuff i used to see back in the Amreeka.
As for adding to your list, i think the Amul ones used to be pretty nifty, though they were more of a print campaign than TV ads.
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September 16th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Hi amreekandesi,
Yeah the Amul ones were like chocolate cake for snark lovers, weren’t they ? I saw one in the Hindu last month, w.r.t. the swine flu – “PANICDEMIC”.
-Neo
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September 13th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
The iPill ad…I don’t know
That said- I’m a new fan of your wonderful blog. Sujatha(blogpourri.blogspot) pointed it out to me. Great stuff here
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September 16th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Hi the_girl_from_ipanema,
Thanks and welcome!
-Neo
PS: May I suggest inviting your neighbor for dinner ? Maybe he’s noisy because he’s hungry!
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September 13th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Something tells me that the creative era of Indian ads (one of the most creative ones worldwide, I’ll say), will soon be replaced by Tele Mall Sauna Belt kind of ads with people after people coming and saying how cool a product is and going “Wakaii..”
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September 14th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Neo,
‘Award winning, funny Indian ad on eve teasing’
Are you suggesting, that sexual harassment, a.k.a. ‘eve teasing’, is an issue to be dealt with by the victims (or ‘damsels in distress’ as you prefer to euphemize) and the victims only? Are you worried that you might have do something like the old man in the ad did when you see a woman being sexually harassed? If the victims are to fend for themselves, then you are off the hook!
Why do you think feminists should/would discourage men from helping women who are being harassed/assaulted?
Well, to be fair, you are merely speaking like a man who has never been sexually harassed in a public place such as a city bus.
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September 14th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Why don’t the women in India carry pepper spray or something, eve-teasing is terrible and no hola-back will cure it. Spary these goons and see how quickly they back-off.
Why can’t these creative ad people work in the hindi-movie industry, there is a dire need of original content in the movies.
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September 15th, 2009 at 6:29 am
This one is my fav
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1SneeEKs4A
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September 15th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Nice compilation! I liked the Bingo Dance ad and the old Vicks ki Goli ad! Special liking to “Hamara Bajaj” ad!
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September 15th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Sorry I don’t know the iPill actress’s name, but Mrs. Neo cd be right on why you watch it. I cant believe such ads are out in TV in des. Unmarried girl from the house.. interesting..
I pulled out this from you tube as I used to love it watching Doordarshan, the only TV we got in tamil nadu where none knows hindi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK_TnmNJqao
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September 15th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Might have the wrong url in the reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDqk3cHL59g
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September 15th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
For me, Dairy milk and Bajaj were cool and they exuded warmth…
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September 15th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Just when I think about deleting your website from my ‘favorites’ for not posting regularly, you come up with something like this! Awesome post. Although I have seen most of these already on youtube, there were some new ones. Really cool! Thanks.
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September 16th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Hi Ritesh,
Glad you liked it. I hope you’ll like my next post, coming some time next year.
-Neo
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September 16th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
aap Close up kyun nahin karte hainnnnnn?!?!?
NOt you, Neo! Just singing the ad song!!
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September 22nd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Thanks for putting these together!
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October 11th, 2009 at 1:53 am
First time on your blog. It is really well written; and you have a nice of sarcastic humor.
Nice post this. I had watched only a few from the ones you have posted.
) Totally neat.
Hadnt watched 2 – I was watching it with one raised eye-brow, but the one-liner in the end blew me away.
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October 24th, 2009 at 2:23 am
Looks like you really were serious about your next post coming some time next year
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October 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
You have beautifully incorporated the creative Indian ads with your own humorous description. Good one.
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October 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Just went through a few of your posts and thoroughly enjoyed them! Keep writing – I’ll be following you on RSS now
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November 5th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Sad to see no posts from you the last 2 months? Very busy?
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November 10th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
[...] any average readers – all of Neo’s readers are above average, especially when it comes to patiently waiting for Neo’s next [...]
November 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Agree! Advertising says a lot about a country, especially in a place like India that has a variety of norms going about, yet has certain unifying undercurrents running all through.
Having said that, I really, really think American advertising could learn a thing or two from Indian ads. Reallllllly.
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November 21st, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Got distracted from DIY task… but neo_indian is an awesome blogger… http://bit.ly/2jJE7B
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