The finer subtleties of immigration
by neo
It takes Neo’s special grasp of the English language to understand that when Mrs. Neo says “Fine!” at the end of an argument, it is neither the end of the argument, nor does it mean that things are “fine”.
Image via Wikipedia
It is the same, sophisticated, auto-antonym-grokking intelligence that allows Neo to understand how he can be an “Overseas Citizen of India” without being overseas, or being a citizen of India!
The clearest explanation of this “(not-always-)Overseas (non-)Citizenship of India” comes not from the Indian government, but from the storied makers of the green-card-that-is-not-green, i.e. the US government, which informs us:
“… an American who obtains [the Overseas Citizenship of India (OCI)] is not a citizen of India and remains a citizen of the United States […] An OCI card in reality is similar to a U.S. “green card” in that a holder can travel to and from India indefinitely […]”
Image via WikipediaBut the Indian Government is remarkably consistent in its desire to make everything sound and look exactly the opposite of what it is, because the physical OCI card looks exactly like a passport, except it’s not a passport.
Now, you might think that carrying around things-that-look-like-passports-but-aren’t is really no big deal, but that’s because you didn’t have to face the Singapore immigration official whose eyes narrowed to the sorts of apertures that are usually associated with a pinhole camera when he saw 6 multi-colored passports tumble out of Neo’s passport pouch – for a family of 3.
But you can’t really blame the Singaporean official – after all, when the newly-OCI-endowed Neo arrived in India (in late 2005), the first reaction from the Indian immigration official who saw Neo’s OCI card was, “Why were you standing in the foreigners line ? You’re an Indian citizen!”.
(On subsequent visits to India this error has been corrected, and now the Indian immigration officials regard Neo with the same surly, if-you-didn’t-visit-so-often-we-wouldn’t-be-so-busy stare, just like all the other “OMG its our first time to India, Megan stop staring at that man right now or we’re flying back to Baltimore!” foreigners waiting patiently in line.)
And so it is that sometimes words can come to mean the exact opposite of what they mean – last weekend when Neo remarked that his mother-in-law’s rasam was fine, Mrs. Neo stormed out of the room – probably angered more by Neo’s correct use of the word “fine” than the slight to the hallowed rasam.
(No prizes for guessing the last word that came out of Mrs. Neo’s mouth just before she stormed out).
PS: For those of you who are still struggling with the various meanings of the word “fine”, this video is a must-watch (gulp down that coffee first).
You need to read the notice on your booklet closely. It clearly says “Certificate of Registration”, not “passport”. :-) Also, no country in the world recognizes this booklet, not even India; you still need a regular passport to cross even Indian immigration counters.
Overseas citizens aren’t a new concept, really, the British have had them for some time. (Ironically, been told that people of the Chinese and Indian descent form a substantial portion of such overseas citizens)
None of this is to detract from your main point, that ‘dual citizenship’ is a piece of hot-air emanating from someone’s considerable derrierres. It’s merely a permanent-residency, as you correctly point out.
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Mr Neo: It may please you to know that there are finer stories regarding Indian immigration people that many of us humbler servants of HM The Queen Elizabeth II can offer. An auntie-jee at the Indian High Commission said to me once “Lovely photo! Tumhare jaisa nahin lagta.” (lit. Pretty photograph, doesn’t look like you.) Another time, without even looking at my passport, the man at the counter said “minor log parents ka signature chahiye” (lit. Minors require parents to sign). No wonder I am now actively cultivating, even flaunting the grey hair making their presence felt at my temples. They also lend gravitas to go with my latest TLA (three letter acquisition). I have often been directed from phoreners’ line to desis’ less orderly line because I look desi, and shunted back when the immigration guy sees I am no longer one, as evidenced by my passport. On returning to Britain, a Brit-desi immigration official asked me the purpose of my visit. Without batting an eyelid, I replied “paying the latest instalment of my mortgage and my taxes”. She let me go. If it had been a white person, I am sure many desis could have come up with race-related explanations but what does one do when people your own colour take it upon themselves to judge your legal status? I have long stopped swearing since most swear words are directed at people’s hapless and harmless mothers. What’s the need? I must learn another language to swear like a bleddy immigrant methinks.
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After the last comment-related “incident” on this blog, I feel for the benefit of some of Neo’s readers, I must add that I am aware that the said Brit-desi border control officer is doing her job, probably under great scrutiny from her managers to see if she is lenient to desis and so on. But an experience is an experience, with or without a myriad of possible social constructivist explanations with it, with or without the amusement it brings ex-post to the experiencer. Thanks.
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Ah, don’t whine Shefaly. You made an unfunny comment that insulted a group of people based on ethnic characteristics and were called to task for it. Maybe if you’d made the same comment in person it wouldn’t have come off the way it did – but the written word lacks those sort of undertones.
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I’m just glad that my husband has a green card, finally. Being able to go through the US Citizens & Permanent Resident line together has shaved about an hour off of our return journey, at least when we’re flying through the mess that is Dulles. It also means we get hassled less when bringing pickle through customs.
The most straightforward immigration/customs line, I’ve found, is in Mexico. Go up, push a button – if the light turns green you’re free to go, if the light turns red, your bags are being searched. No subtleties there. (I do suspect, however, that immigration officials control the traffic light so that they don’t have to search the bags of large parties. It’s always individuals or couples who get the red light.)
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And here is how Mr Gorigirl got his greencard:
http://www.vickiboykis.com/2009/07/06/american-vs-russian-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-395
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Um, yup – and?
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Ah! well.. at least he ain’t mail order :-)
My ex – apartment mate (a much older dude) ordered a young one.. waaaay outta his league from old mother Russia, and boy, oh boy she was (is) Pretty!
Needless to say she dumped him as soon as she got her Green Card. She’s out in NY pursuing her high fashion dreams while he’s here at a dead end job and spends his weekend chasing skanks in San Francisco.
But hey, his ex and him vacation together ever year in Santa Barbara.. and he says it’s worth every penny.. and that he’s happy, so I guess it all worked out.
and the ex-INS / UICIS slowed down the H1 to GC process.. I’ve friends from work.. trapped on the long hellish wait for GC, can’t switch jobs or go home and marry…. terrible.
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Yeah, no one would order my husband through the mail – he’s a brat. :-)
Aditya and I were pretty lucky in flying through the immigration process without any problems (and we got in before they doubled the fees), but, yeah, there are plenty of horror stories out there, especially for people going the employment route to a green card. And even though we didn’t have any major problems, the time and money spent getting all of our ducks in a row was such a waste of effort.
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I got the Person of Indian Origin card for my daughter, and it is grey in color, so it doesn’t look like a passport, except it is of the same size and feels like one!
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Thanks for the coffee warning. I really did have my coffee mug in hand as I read this.
But what I fail to ravel is why Wiki didn’t consult the
Grammar-Neo-Nazi before making an incomprehensive list of auto-antonyms.Well, I guess it’s fine :-|
g
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What ever happened to good old bakshish – bribe?
“Here’s some for Chai Biskut” and some more for your “Saar” and “Afhasar”?
Back in my single days when I made very frequent trips.. I got prodigious amount of booze(friends and relatives and friends of relatives had all acquired tastes and thirsts that only phoren liquor could slake) through Indian customs by rolling a $20 over a wad of $1 bills, Indian money was no good :-P
The customs guys carried my suite cases and pushed my cart (contraband and all) all the way to the taxi and I think at times saluted and waved good bye like a favorite old uncle.
I believe it’s a lot harder now. The Indian Immigration and customs ain’t making that kind of money anymore…vigilance and over sight has shrunk their tax free take home money, hence the permanent scowl and frequent cavity searches.
I don’t think I’ll walk by with a 25 year old single malt up my… even for our “family doctor”.
Ah! how one longs for the good old days when it was all so simple ;-)
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I didn’t know such a thing exited :P
Anyway , Rasam sucks…it tastes good only when you have a high fever :P
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Off topic: Good luck to those that need it.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090806/ap_on_re_us/us_meltdown_green_cards
One unforeseen benefit of the drop in applications is that Citizenship and Immigration Services has been able to work through a large backlog that had led to wait times of 15 months or more in some cases.
With a lighter work load and a larger staff in place, the approval process now takes less than six months on average from start to finish, Barrows said.
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Actually, you could end up travelling with 6 passports and 3 OCI passport look-alikes. Every OCI card comes with a lifelong visa stamped in the passport. When your passport expires, you carry it along because it has the lifelong visa in it. Our family of five travels with 5 passports, 4 expired passports and 5 OCI cards. When our baby’s passport expires, we’ll be travelling around with 15 documents!
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There is a provision to transfer the U(?) sticker that is in the expired passport to the new one. I would check with the local Indian consulate. With that, you won’t have to carry anything but the latest passport and the OCI card / booklet.
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Back in the day, the Green Card was truly green in color. Some could argue that it was almost minty green :)
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