Wow, your wife is so lucky to have found a man that knows how to cook/grill so well. The way you described those recipes were over the top and now I want some of what you’re having! I’m sure those (non-veggie types) who’ve moved away are salivating now…

I never thought I’d be saying this but I’ll be joining those folks very soon after living in the US for 40 years (and I’m a 2nd generation Indian too).

“Secondly, you have an emotional connection to India, so like ANYONE who has an emotional connection to a place/person/or thing they are going to value it regardless of the faults.”
Why exactly do I detect a patronizing tone here?
Anyway…bye…

One thing both of you have said is “yes there are problems”. So thanks for not outright saying the things I listed were false.

Secondly, you have an emotional connection to India, so like ANYONE who has an emotional connection to a place/person/or thing they are going to value it regardless of the faults.

You have presented a view of a woman who likes India..very well done.

All I did was to present views why I don’t like it.

One doesn’t trump another. There are people who agree with you and I’m sure there are people who agree with me.

Second, V, instead of arguing endlessly, accept that you ARE making generalisations about Indians. No one (least of all an Indian living in India) denies that there are problems in our country that needs to be solved. But there are many many wonderful things about this country. As corny as it sounds I still would live in India because the satisfaction of seeing those problems being solved is FAR more than what I would feel to hear that the US has solved the problem of the homeless (or whatever).

Third, please don’t generalise about the women in India in that pseudo pitying tone. We don’t need it, thank you! While there might be many women who think the US is the panacea of all their problems (most realise that its not once they reach there), there are many who love living here for a variety of reasons. Since I am working in the development sector, the opportunities and rewards for me are far more in India than the US.

Fourth, I love Indian food (especially home food). After being forced to eat cold cuts, bread, salad and soups for days, I thank heaven that I have the good fortune to be an Indian having access and the stomach to be able to digest good old Indian food of any variety!

Fifth, India is one beautiful country!! It has mountains, forests, oceans, deserts (u name it we have it). Since I love travelling, India is a paradise for me.

Sixth, your comment about Indians being rude is as silly as Akshay’s comment about dumb American kids or being racially abused. Both of you are making generalisations. As some one said, you get the behaviour you deserve!

When in season.. you get em for a buck ninety nine a pound. It’s not November yet, but I found some at 2.99 this weekend.
It’s sweet.. delicate.. and oh! so divine… it’s not an easy eat though. You have to work for it. Half the fun is fighting the crab, working through it’s shell and claw to get to that succulent meat, while your mouth is burning in sweet chili and wanting more.

I love dungeness, the shell compared to other crabs (Stone and Red) is softer, the meat sweeter, the crab larger and that much more rewarding.

We make a fiery red curry with garlic and ginger and red chillies in a tomato base. It opens up the pores and make one hyper ventilate. Paired with the right white wine.. acidic and floral.. it is an experience to rival the best french cuisine… at the opposite end of the spectrum.

While fine french cuisine tends to be superbly sublime, creamy and complexly layered, Indian cuisine (non veg) tends to hit you like a freight train. There is nothing subtle about Indian food, for that reason I’ve always paired with the bigger reds and flamboyant fruit forward Californians.

Of late I’ve been experimenting with fish.. and hence the rash of whites… and with it a new appreciation for the cooler..and acidic and floral aromas and tastes. It’s amazing how well they pair with curried fish and shrimp and crab. Thus far, I’ve had the best success with Pinot Grigio.. Chard is a bit too bland and better suited for Italian food and pasta lovers.
As always get your crab live, look for the vigorous feisty ones, they taste the best .

Another reason.. I can’t move back.. Hawaii, but that later.

It’s the hormone.. it makes one edgy and hyper sensitive… it’s what causes teen angst. It’s a while before one learns to ride the rage and mellow out.. then you’ll begin to enjoy the more relaxed pleasures of life…once the urgency dissipates and one learns how to go the distance…. but you already know that.

When I was 18, India was a very different place.. the girls were skittish and you had to move mountains before you got some, not that it stopped anyone from trying. I hear it different now.. so more power to you.. forget the pie and go get some.

Here’s the secret.. groom well..dress good and smell nice.. don’t skimp.. be consistent and hit on every pretty thing you come across.. and soon you’ll be neck deep in it. Good Luck!

Now for some inane junk:Report from San Francisco:
It’s a nice mellow silicon valley summer evening… warm afternoon that cooled off rapidly as the day ended.. the wife put a salad together (nuts and all, very nice) and I grilled some sardines.
Not everyone here eats sardines.. most folk here call it bait fish, and use it to catch salmon and tuna. The old world (italians/greeks and ofcourse us east Indians) love and eat sardines.. Americans think of it as canned fish, to be eaten in an underground bunker.. in the event of a nuclear attack.

Back in the day, there was a thriving sardine industry out here. Monterey and Carmel’s cannery row was the top landing spot.. pretty soon the folly of treating the ocean like an inexhaustible supply of cheap fish caught on..the sardine population collapsed… it wiped out the canning industry.
The fish is now making a slow comeback. You can pick up fresh sardines at half moon bay.
It’s a very healthy fish to eat.. chock full of omega 3 and no mercury. It’s an oily fish and so grills up great and it’s real easy.
Rub some salt and chillie powder. Stuff the sardine with crushed mint (get the Persian mint from the middle eastern grocery, the Indian grocery sell that junk that taste like grass) and garlic, squeeze some lime/lemon on the fish and throw it on the grill.. it cooks in under 5 mins and tastes awesome.. remember to use fresh fish… frozen one ain’t good.
I eat em with a few glasses of some good German Riesling.. the worst possible thing to pair with.. but that’s the only white I had lying around. And hell, it’s the best time to be drinking wine anyways. The market is flooded with wine and they are practically giving it away.

Mr.(Ms?) Easily Amused,

C’mon man.., the US is a great place.. try to get out and enjoy the surroundings next time. Folks here are actually very warm and welcoming…
True. I enjoyed my stay in America. The people are nice and they have one quality which is a rarity in India-dignity of labour. But I did feel, they were slightly…er dumb, but that’s not negating the fact that the US is a great place to be. There’s a lot I feel we can learn from them, and likewise.

I just listed my not-so-pleasant experiences to imply that despite them, I had the sense not to make generalizations about America.
Like you said, it takes time to understand a country and its culture.
I was just trying to convey what you did, maybe in a more combative manner. V, you may have relatives in India,you may visit often and you might have seen them experience abuse and oppression. I don’t deny it happens in India, and maybe it is widespread, but certainly there are opportunities for women in India too. My mother is also an educated working woman who also holds a more-than-decent corporate job. My friends have mothers who are doctors, teachers, engineers,etc, etc. I’ll quote Easily Amused here, and say the same “You’ll have to live in India to understand her.” But anyway, your opinions are yours and I never meant any disrespect.

but you have to make the effort and put in the time…. mix and mingle.. Hell, you know what…. if you dress well and smell good…. any barfly skank will fuck you too.
Well I did try to mix and mingle, and I daresay I was quite successful. I made many friends, and am still in touch with a few of them. As for dressing and smelling well, I use Axe Deospray, a Hindustan Lever Product . Clothes were mostly formal, and sometimes T-Shirts and Jeans.
Kids are dumb the world over.. or freaking geniuses.. depending on which ones you meet… They didn’t build this country on the backs of imbeciles… so lighten up.
Well this trip I’m talking about happened 4 years back. I was 14 years old then, and I just said what I thought about the people I’d interacted with. They didn’t seem that, let’s say, bright. I mean they didn’t seem to know much about their own country, leave alone mine. Ya, there were sharp people as well, no denying that. But it qualified as a not-so-good experience for me atleast. I have more such anecdotes. I don’t want to describe them because they involve specific individuals and I don’t want complicate stuff by mentioning them. The American Pie thingy was my conclusion about two spoilt filthy- rich Southern Californians, the OC types, whom I’d met.

I’m curious..may I ask, how were you “racially abused”? Were you beaten by a roving band of KKK skin heads or are you pissed off at some random white man who gave you a mean look?
Somewhat the latter. A White fellow in front of me at the Airline counter referred to our group as ” Indian animals making noise” or something to that effect. As I said, I was young, I was 14, I took offence at what he said. If there are degrees of racism, and this was mild, then yes, I’m a wimp

The rest of your comment is something I’ve seen and heard so often I have a stock reply ready:

I say what I said to anyone, absolutely anyone, who speaks about my country’s faults without actually bothering to make an effort to correct them. And that anyone could be Indian,Indian-American,European,bla-bla-bla. I do criticize some aspects of my country,but atleast I also “rant” .I say what you call “crap” more often to Indians residing here than to any perceived “foreigners”. Some of the biggest hypocrites live here. They’ll talk about how the Indian Government doesn’t do anything about the Swine-Flu issue and yet those bastards are the same people who spit paan on the roads. The people who complain about “Casteism” and “Communalism” are sometimes the very people who go “Ae Kaale ko Dekh…hehe” when they see an African at the railway station. I have had to “rant” most of the times at my fellow countrymen than at foreigners. Infact, during the very US trip, I had some pretty interesting discussions with a few Americans (elder….most were in the 16-19 bracket. I was one of the youngest people there.) about the problems faced by each and (vague)suggestions to get rid of them. Whereas with Indians, it is only arguments like these. Criticisms and counter-criticisms, mutual accusations of ranting and crapping. You’re right, we all believe we have a divine right to criticize. But we don’t care to change. We’re content living in our comfy houses warming our butts indulging in such useless discussions, instead of actually bothering to change the things we don’t like.. Hence, I rant. And crap.

So basically, your whole hypothesis that Indians don’t like “others” criticizing their faults fails miserably in my case atleast. See, I don’t like people complaining about things they can’t or don’t want to change. If you bothered about India’s social progress, you would try to accelerate it instead of pouncing on me, who merely is someone with a modicum of hope and said something he strongly believes in,
that India is a young nation(Ob, I meant democratic institutions) that has achieved a lot in 6 decades of its existence. There are problems, yes, but they need time to be solved. That’s all. And this is what I was (originally)trying to convey to “V”, and okay, she’s got it she says. You supported her original comment, and I’d have ranted and crapped at you too, just that ranting is a rather exhausting task.
Interesting hypothesis though, yours.

Consider this what you want, a rant, a raving or whatever. Use any kind of profanity you want, it isn’t going to affect me.

PS
And as for those “political misinterpretations” in my actual response , I intended them to be sarcastic and they’re certainly not my views on America. I hope I’ve made that clear. Actually I’d put a “sarcasm” tag there, (a la HTML) but it was an elementary blunder, because the compiler totally ignores tags that it doesn’t recognize….(silly me..)
And that caused so much hullabaloo. Maybe the internet isn’t suited for subtle expressions…