Learn everything you ever wanted to know about “unnatural sex” – from the Indian penal code
by neo
The last thing Neo wanted to do after a harrowing day at work was to read about sex with animals, or about superintendents of jails having sex with their inmates. But there really was no escape.
It all started with Neo’s reputation for being an “Internet expert” in his family – his grandmother thinks Neo invented Twitter – neither Neo nor the 50+ people she has bragged to has had the heart to correct her.
Unfortunately, this time, Neo’s Internet expertise failed him. Much to the disappointment of Neo’s uncle, he couldn’t find a suitable bride for his unmarriageable choosy cousin online.
Most single women ignored Neo’s solicitations on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Actually, two women did respond, but that was because they thought the bride was for Neo – Mrs. Neo was outwardly outraged but privately proud (yes, Mrs. Neo is so poetic even her emotions are alliterative).
Undeterred, Neo decided to check out shaadi.com, but then quickly got distracted by shaadi.com’s “women seeking women” section – which was odd since it doesn’t exist.
Could it be that there were no gay people in India ? As it turns out, they are all either in jail, or fugitives – the erotically titled “unnatural sex offences” part of Section 377 of the Indian penal code makes gay sex (along with rape and sex with animals) punishable at worst by life imprisonment. (Neo’s close, mostly single, gay friends don’t realize the tragicomic irony when they tease Neo’s marriage as being “life imprisonment”.)
Neo is no lawyer, but it does seem that rather than trying to criminalize normal, private, consensual activity between two adults, the government could be more helpful by banning actual deviant behavior like making sex noises while working out in the gym! (Now you know why Neo’s in-ear noise-cancelling earphones cost him more than his ipod.)
Anyhow, one of Neo’s gay friends pointed out that he doubted the prison cell allocation algorithm was smart enough to make sure that two gay people are not imprisoned in the same jail cell, which might sort of defeat the purpose of their incarceration in the first place (and before the gay convicts get any ideas, there is a special clause (376C) for the “superintendent of jail having sex with the inmates – yes, porn movies plagiarize too!).
Neo’s evening studying India’s “unnatural sex” laws ended on a positive note – the Indian Penal Code is more tolerant (in a “wink wink” sort of way) towards lesbians. It defines “sex” in terms of intercourse – so an Indian lesbian woman on trial can always claim, rather self-evidently – “I did not have sexual relations with that woman!”
Ok now I am confused. I have a ping-back from this post on my other blog (LaVieQuotidienne) but I can’t see how. :-/
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@Shefaly
Hmm good point. I did shorten the post considerably after posting it initially – I think there was a link to one of your posts in the text I edited away. That would explain it, I think..
Darn I hate editing. :-(
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They should take that penal code and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine!!
Honestly, WHEN are you guys (yeah, we’re different now that we are in America ;)) gonna come out of the dark ages???
Ok, you put up a lot of interesting links in this post..I gotta check them out!
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…*But were naturally afraid to ask :)
So if shaadi.com is given more than 26-seconds’ worth of thought, is this where it ends? :O
g
PS: Clearly, the alliterative emotions are an alleviating emollient on one sicko’s psyche :-|
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@roshni
Unfortunately it’s not that much better in the US either. Gay partners are still being denied visitation rights in hospitals in many parts of the US, which is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
@gauri
Any number of people can offer compliments to the wife and it’s considered charming. But the husband getting two drops of genuine rain amidst a total drought is considered an outrage. How far the pendulum has swung, indeed. I should have written a piece on husband rights instead! :-P
-neo
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@gauri…are you tripping over your own tongue?!! :P
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NeoIndian
All they needed to know, they learnt by reading Kamasutra (il)literally.
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Disclaimer: Crude language ahead!
I have both Gay and Les friends. They are fun (I’m sure it’s not their sexual orientation that makes them gay, ahem!) and well adjusted. I love going to lesbian bars.. every straight guy should check em out.
Dude.. Neo… Humans will fuck anything.. anywhere.. anytime.. You’ll find sex in the strangest of places with the strangest of things at the oddest of times.
My first introduction was through Russian biology texts at a book fair and then the library.. later I learned to look through religious texts for erotic passages on sex.. go figure. Never got as far as the penal code though… I’m impressed by your zest and quest Neo.
Boys will read anything.. even a foreign language if you write vagina in there somewhere..
IPC:
I’m confused.. is rape of a man not recognized in India. I noticed the heavy emphasis on penetration. Is rape by a women on a man recognized?
What if the penetrator is a women.. and the appendage belonged to the man.. would she then be raping herself? Is an erection really a sign of consent.. I tell you man.. I get a boner at the oddest times.. most recently in a long winding and very stressful presentation.
“Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal”
Does this mean you can’t butt fuck a man, women or animal consensual or otherwise.. but can have consensual vaginal intercourse with said women and animal?
And no backdoor fun fest with the wify either, eh? well, as long as the cops don’t find out… but heavens help if she runs you in..
BTW.. ever heard of “nawabi shauk”.. since ancient times, butt fucking it seems was a royal prerogative. The commoners had to make do with goats.
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@Roshni: Out with the truth now, you actually tried saying it didntcha? :D
@n: I wish more people knew compliments to the wife is charming – many a teeth would be un-knocked ;) But yes, I urge you to write that piece on husband rights – quite critical to balancing all those husband wrongs :-|
g
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@neo…..I know. I already vented my frustration about prop8. But I’ve had my gay friends being picked up by the police and harassed in Delhi (and everyone knows what they were actually after) so that still smarts!
@gauri….. :-I
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loads of link there- checking on all right now.
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Hey
Your sepiamutiny link is broken.
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@Obelix74 Thanks I’ll check it out.
@Easily – ROFL. Dude are you on Twitter ? You really should join! There’s a few people on there who helped me with this post, and I’m going to ask them if there is any way a man can be legally raped, given the current state of the Indian Penal Code. My guess is you’re right.
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Neo dude.. I’m not on Twitter.. I’d probably do a bunch of penile/vaginal posts and be kicked off after a day or two.
I check Demi – Aston’s and your twitter from time to time.. ;-)
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I had a tough time opening this page , cause my office firewall , automatically blocks anything with the keyword “sex” in it .
Mast post . :)
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Thanks, glad you liked it. Nothing like making a page difficult to open to make people want to read it even more. :-)
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Oral sex is illegal in Singapore. Beat that :P
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