Discover your true self – travel in India with lots of relatives
by neo
Most people will get a total of 88 weeks of paid vacation in their lifetimes. Neo just wasted 2 of them on a “vacation” with his extended family that has left him feeling more stressed out than if he had simply stayed at home and gone to work as usual.
Neo had promised to Mrs. Neo not to whine during the last two weeks he spent travelling with his extended family. But their agreement is silent on the rules of engagement after the trip was over.
Neo already knew that he was sort of an oddball in the family – but this vacation has surely driven that message home.
Here are just a few of the “differences of opinion” (to put it charitably)between Neo and the rest of the Greater Neo family.
1. Kids make hay while the adults chat – Neo is staggered by the apparent pervasiveness of the following myth amongst his Indian relatives: “kids playing in groups need less adult supervision than kids playing alone”. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. While the group was gossiping discussing family matters at one of several non-descript restaurants, Neo was preventing one of his nephews from placing karate kicks on another nephews face. He also prevented his 6 year-old niece from drinking from an abandoned can of cold Kingfisher beer. (Sexist remark alert: Only a woman can abandon a can of cold kingfisher beer after just one sip.)
2. Aloo Tikki is local cuisine ? – Neo felt like a lactose intolerant man living on a dairy farm throughout the vacation. Who exactly decreed that “having fun” and “eating healthy” are mutually exclusive ? Neo was openly mocked for ordering “grilled fish with steamed vegetables” instead of the “Aloo Tikki” and “Paneer Tikka”, or a plate of mangoes instead of “kheer”. Neo was told by his uncle that “Aloo Tikki” is the local specialty of Maharashtra, which is almost certainly false. Besides, Neo can probably make a stronger case for Aloo Tikki being the local specialty of Fremont, California.
3. Holidays are busier than work-days – Enjoying a leisurely coffee, or a walk on the beach, or even reading a book are apparently not things one does on holidays in India. On their daily 200 km driving marathons across Maharashtra, Neo was constantly admonished against “thinking like a lazy American”. He was told to (oh the irony) relax and go along with the breathless pace at which the holiday was planned. The most relaxing part of the trip for Neo was when he had the chance to be motionless, quiet and gaze into into some beautiful sugarcane fields while Neo Jr took his bathroom break under a tree (Neo Jr has a newfound love for trees).
4. Its easier to talk about about being healthy than actually being healthy – Seeing Neo and Mrs. Neo put on their running shoes and go for long runs on most days of their vacation was somewhat of an amusing spectacle for the rest of the family. The gang was rolling on the floor with laughter when Neo suggested that his overweight aunt accompany him for a long walk. Neo’s elderly aunts constantly dole out unchallenged words of wisdom about the healh benefits of drinking kokam juice, coconut water and other similar “natural remedies” – but no one seems to even discuss (let alone practice) the benefits of regular cardio exercise and strength training.
Silver lining – It wasn’t all that bad. Maharashtra and Goa are actually spectacularly beautiful places to visit (especially along the Konkan coast). Neo loves the unassuming nature of the Maharashtrian people (once you get away from the touristy spots and the hawkers). With a little bit of clever marketing and infrastructure development, the Konkan coast can easily become a major tourist attraction and give South East Asia a run for its money.
Also, Neo is back just in time to enjoy the start of the new season of the Indian Premier League, and to cheer Arsenal in their Champions League campaign (Now isn’t that a great way to spend the next few weeks of our lives ?)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=9c506dcb-d739-40d9-a0fc-ca4ffcc1f0bb)
Possibly related posts:
- Return to India myth #2: India will feel like home after the US ...
- Images of India: Goa (The Neo family has had a bad week thanks to...
Nice pics! I have had similar experiences on all my India trips,we reach SFO airport exhausted,working till the last minute,buying presents,etc and get no respite the whole vacation with all the relatives wanting to DO something all the time! Human doings or Human beings?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
LOL, uptight Amru :P
Bangalore-Goa-Maharashtra, eh…interesting. (The amchi antennae have gone up.) Watch out, we might just be related – then you can blog about how you hated me when I laughed at you :P
:D
g
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hmmm ‘Lazy American’… certainly food for thought. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Tell me about trying to convince some relatives about just trying a lil’ bit of exercise (whew!)!!
Yes, most parts of India are spectacularly beautiful. When I hear people say how wonderful San Diego beaches are, I feel like sneering! What a pity the govt (and individuals) don’t do a better job at advertising!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
laughing away, as usual!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
PS: Do you like mango soufflé?
I just love kokam juice! :-|
g
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@V Exactly how we used to feel. Also, some people get so many phone calls even on vacation that I get an inferiority complex and start twittering away just to blend in. :-)
@gauri I did see a girl laughing to herself while thumbing through what seemed like a thesaurus on the beach. I was tempted to ask her “I know this might sound crazy but does the name litterateuse mean anything to you ? No ? How about whydowe ?”
@Roshni India is so beautiful its sad. Left to itself, Nature wants to be beautiful and clean. All we need to preserve it is to stop destroying it. :-(
@gauri Huge fan of all things soufflé (how can anyone not fall in love with anything that has as beautiful a name). So there is this kokam-coconut milk blend “sol kadhi” that is served in parts of southern/coastal Maharashtra that I didn’t like much (coconut milk is also very fatty). Towards the end of the holidays I was impressing the waiters by ordering “sol kadhi without the coconut milk” (although they always have low expectations from anyone wearing khaki shorts).
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey Gauri… you say mango souffle and then link it to mango pickle!! How mean is that?!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Roshni:
I’m glad someone noticed ;) Well that’s what happened to me when the kokam juice was linked to sol kadhi :-| It’s like calling mango dal mango juice :P
BTW, n: The first time I had Sol Kadhi I found it really weird-tasting. Probably the coconut milk. And then I consistently tried not to make a face the next couple times. But now I’m hooked! I make it at least once a month; goes really well with desi-style fish-fillet tikka. And not just with rice, I can drink cups of it by itself – *addictive*.
I would have made the most horrendous face right now at anyone who’d have told me this a couple years ago. In other words – hang in there, don’t give up, but do not die before you have acquired the taste. Seriously!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Call me lazy… I love infrastructure.. left to myself I’d die in India..
I’ve grown to love umbrella drinks.. and the scantly clad girls that serve em.
I now love grilled anything and the sweet smell of BBQ..
I love that I can lose myself in a crowd and no one notices me or the gigantic snake in my shorts..
Call me lazy.. but I love it here.
Neo buddy…Since you’ve been gone.. Chicken Tikka masala was crowned the national “Indian American” Dish.. but the orange chicken (butter chicken) has been giving it a run…
You gotta love the fish in India though.. the fried ones.. the deeeeep fried ones… uuummm delicious!
Am happy to hear you survived the family vacation.. fun time by the sounds of it ;-)
Great picture of the fort.. have always loved pictures of forts..I like their expansiveness and grandeur.. and the space (my lovely wife though, would fill em up with all the furniture she sooooo lusts after..our pad isn’t big enough for her super sized love of all things Oak and poor me)…. I also find they satisfy a deep, dormant and sadly misunderstood – despotic craving.. to rule with an iron fist and laugh manically at weak willed peasants.
Always thought evil villains (especially galactic kind) had all the fun… the young hero only succeeding in over powering them in their autumn years… in a few they would have died anyways..
Forts are a major part of any evil plan for world domination… only a needlessly complicated subterranean lairs trump it.
While you were gone we’ve had tea parties and Texas threatened to secede….. again. I wonder if they’d rejoin mexico :-))
I also discovered that I live by the most tax-procrastinating city in the US: San Francisco. suck on that you tax paying pussies.. :-D
http://dontmesswithtaxes.typepad.com/dont_mess_with_taxes/2009/04/americas-most-taxprocrastinating-cities.html
Another thing… a minor storm in SFO’s provincial tea cup.. the latest Trek movie shows our much loved city all built up..à la New York..
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/io9/2009/03/Star-Trek.jpg
Uh uh.. Our collective panties are in a bunch.. see you at the protest march. Viva la Raza!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
While ago.. was searching for pictures.. and stumbled on this.. good pictures of Indian architecture and landscape and such.. some have been removed since..
worth a look:
http://www.irandefence.net/showthread.php?t=20036&page=4
Do look at all the pages :-)
Great photography by serious shutterbugs.. very creative but some tweaked as all hell in PS ;-)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Neo, you’re making me want some tikka or other now!
Sounds like a great vacation. ;)
BTW, I think anywhere in the second or third world, people look at exercisers/runners as totally nutso because exercise is not really taken as a must but a luxury, especially when you are trying to survive (the ghee?) :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Neo, did you not know, laughter is the best medicine. Your overweight aunty will probably outlive you and she had a lot more fun than your exercising, eating healthy, no-ass behind.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Vicki – That’s a fascinating point. You’re so right – many of those around me see our passion for exercise and eating healthy as narcissism. And of course, everywhere you go in India, you can’t help but getting lectured endlessly about how Bengali, or Maharashtrian or South Indian diets are actually the best in the world (never mind the fact that almost everyone is overweight and is visibly low on protein.).
@no-one LOL – Yes, I sure hope so. My aunt sings so well its not even funny. She watched just 2-3 episodes of American Idol and now she even sings a few rock numbers – American style, accent and everything. You’re right – there’s so much more to life than fitness (although its not mutually exclusive) :-)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
[...] grandma is just the funniest and the most devastatingly logical person you will ever meet. During Neo’s recent vacation, when one uncle was in the middle of an interminably long soliloquy on pranayama, Neo’s grandma [...]
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hi! I drifted here via Shefaly’s blog. Very enjoyable reading, but I have a bone to pick: if your really find the Konkan coast all that much, why not go easy on “…a little bit of clever marketing and infrastructure development, the Konkan coast can easily become a major tourist attraction…” bit? You want it to be raped the same way as most of coastal Goa, Mumbai etc. have been (not to mention, minus the littoral context, Bangalore and Pune)? With friends like you, who needs enemies? :-)
I am a bit confused about your geo-linguistic-cultural identity. Gauri hints at a possible ‘aamchi’ connection. But anyone whose uncle (however distant) believes that ‘Aloo Tikki’ is the local specialty of Maharashtra, is surely to be treated with caution ;-)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Sounds like… a blast. My husband’s siblings and parents, along with attendant spouses and children will be traveling to the US this summer for a three week vacation blitz. The itinerary is not yet hammered out, but I’m currently the lone voice in the woods calling for a lighter itinerary with less emphasis on the tourist attractions and more emphasis on actually seeing real America. You’d think they’d listen to the person born and brought up in the States… *grumble*
I’ll do my best to follow your wise wife’s rule, though, and not whine while traveling.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
[...] relatives in India were shocked when he moved to India (“oh but he is so Americanized!”, “he will move [...]
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why not make your immediate colleagues and friends exercise? I heard half of America is obese and practically lives on junk-food. And I’d much rather that the pristine beauty of the Konkan be protected from the hordes of pot-smoking,boozing tourists(Indian and foreign.)who’ve so destroyed Goa.
Another awesome place to visit is Garhwal(Uttarakhand.) It’s absolutely,\m/,no other term describes it better.
Another place you can visit is Nainital in the Kumaon region. You’ll be amazed at the affluence, the climate, the beauty, the culture and the multi-ethnicity(Tibetans). It is the closest to the proverbial Paradise “Whiners” come looking for in India.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0