Why being a Hindu moral police is harder than your tech job
You sit there in your cube, thinking – “How hard can it be for Hindu Moral Police to talk about Indian values and judge others all day” – Well you are wrong in several ways. It is much harder than your techie job:
1. You only have to worry about getting your clothes ready for work tomorrow. Yes, laundry is tiresome (another reason to move to India). But the moral police have to worry about everyone’s clothes! The neighbor’s daughter wearing a slightly short skirt is not just the hottest thing that they’ve seen all year – for them, its time for yet another tiring protest in the hot sun!
2. You think your lame-ass dance moves at the office party are a turn off ? Try picking up someone with a “Hi, I’m a moral police in my spare time!” line. Yes, getting pink panties is actually the closest many Hindu moral police will come to sex in their entire life.
3. You get a terrible pay for spending hours and hours writing software very few people use. The moral police get paid nothing for hours and hours spent looking for things no one else cares about.
4. In your job, you deal with skeptical expressions all the time – especially when you ask for a promotion or a raise. Usually you just drown out the expressions with Vodka after work (or if you’re a health freak like Neo, at the gym). But a skeptical expression can threaten the entire way of life for Hindu moral police. Think about that at your next after-work drink.
5. You have a tough time finding like-minded people to grow your team. Hindu moral police have to compete against identically-minded moral police of other religions.
6. You have to only defend your hastily cobbled together code in front of the QA guys. Moral police have to defend monumental FAIL “errors” like the caste system! And the only tools the poor moral police have are lame-ass statements like “Ved Vyasa’s mom was a fish seller and yet not discriminated – hence the caste system is/was good” (yes they really said that). Your QA guys would eat the Hindu Moral Police as a tasty appetizer with that sort of fraked up logic, and still have room for lunch.
So while you’re enjoying your tough but well-paid job (and getting laid) spare a thought for people who have much less than you.