Why being a Hindu moral police is harder than your tech job
by neo
You sit there in your cube, thinking – “How hard can it be for Hindu Moral Police to talk about Indian values and judge others all day” – Well you are wrong in several ways. It is much harder than your techie job:
1. You only have to worry about getting your clothes ready for work tomorrow. Yes, laundry is tiresome (another reason to move to India). But the moral police have to worry about everyone’s clothes! The neighbor’s daughter wearing a slightly short skirt is not just the hottest thing that they’ve seen all year – for them, its time for yet another tiring protest in the hot sun!
2. You think your lame-ass dance moves at the office party are a turn off ? Try picking up someone with a “Hi, I’m a moral police in my spare time!” line. Yes, getting pink panties is actually the closest many Hindu moral police will come to sex in their entire life.
3. You get a terrible pay for spending hours and hours writing software very few people use. The moral police get paid nothing for hours and hours spent looking for things no one else cares about.
4. In your job, you deal with skeptical expressions all the time – especially when you ask for a promotion or a raise. Usually you just drown out the expressions with Vodka after work (or if you’re a health freak like Neo, at the gym). But a skeptical expression can threaten the entire way of life for Hindu moral police. Think about that at your next after-work drink.
5. You have a tough time finding like-minded people to grow your team. Hindu moral police have to compete against identically-minded moral police of other religions.
6. You have to only defend your hastily cobbled together code in front of the QA guys. Moral police have to defend monumental FAIL “errors” like the caste system! And the only tools the poor moral police have are lame-ass statements like “Ved Vyasa’s mom was a fish seller and yet not discriminated – hence the caste system is/was good” (yes they really said that). Your QA guys would eat the Hindu Moral Police as a tasty appetizer with that sort of fraked up logic, and still have room for lunch.
So while you’re enjoying your tough but well-paid job (and getting laid) spare a thought for people who have much less than you.
Two posts in one day! Awesome. I enjoyed reading them. Inlaws, Moral police… never a dull moment in India.
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@yad Thanks. Yes – People have different labels for India – but no one can call India “dull”.
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So neoIndian is Battlestar Galactica fan too? I’m becoming more and more impressed…
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@GoriGirl Thanks – I was beginning to think no one would notice. :-)
And I sort of knew I was going to subscribe to your blog even before I clicked on the link! Welcome to my totally multicultural RSS reader! :)
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Nice one, Mr. Anderson.
“So while you’re enjoying your tough but well-paid job (and getting laid)”…..so you either get laid, or you get laid off. That’s one hell of a choice!
Cheers,
Quirky Indian
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Hopped over from Blogpourri. Funny/interesting stuff here, will keep coming to check out more. Just saying Hi.
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@Quirky Indian – Hehehe. Never thought of it that way. But I think the choice is clear. :-)
@choxbox – Hi and welcome!
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Hi! Just wandered over and liked what I saw!! Ok, so now I really have to think whether I should chuck my cushy, A/C office job and do the ‘respectful’ thing by guarding our Hindutva, eh?!! Thanks for supplying the many points to ponder!
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HI Neo,
great posts! and welcome home!
I completely enjoyed reading most of your posts and while I agree mostly with what you said here(really, i agree that its hard policing the morality of a nation), and apologies for splitting hair, but the ref to Vyasa(the humor acknowledged) was slightly out of sync-the website link does point out that the more prevaent and divisive caste system is not and should not be a part of Hinduism. Whether a Veda Vyasa did exist or not , and whether talking monkeys and a bear named Jambavan built a bridge over Indian ocean , I do not know and frankly could not care less. But in a roundabout way, and maybe with some “fishy” logic, the article seems to be denouncing caste system and trying to prove what you have been saying- that caste system sucks!!
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@Siddhartha – thanks for your comments!
I actually thought harder than it seems about that Veda Vyasa link. If you notice, the author of that page is making a very different point than merely saying “the caste system sucks”.
He is claiming that 1) the caste system was not “originally” that bad (during Vyasa’s times), and that 2) its not the “true spirit” of hinduism.
There is a whiff of arrogance in the above argument – an attempt to find “something good” in the caste system – a refusal to accept reality.
There is really no defense for the caste system at any point of time in history. Even if only one person was discriminated against during Vyasa’s times, thats still one person too many.
The caste system is terrible in THEORY and from the beginning, not only in practice and in modern times.
I actually wrote a longer piece on this here:
http://neoindian.org/2009/01/31/weekend-vedic-warriors-defend-caste-system/
Thanks again – thoughtful readers like you make it all worthwhile!
-Neo
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I loved the post, but am ROTFLing at the Caste system link. You bet they are arrogant. But they need to justify EVERYTHNG about the religion- even the myriad defecation rules( am sure there is a goldmine somewhere).
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Hopped from somewhere. Glad I did :) Will be back!
-gauri
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:)
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:P
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Wonder what they did with all those panties.. are they gasp!…. but no… they can’t be.. what will Sri Ram say….. but.. but… oh my god! are they really? Oh, the Humanity! those dastardly bastards..
Pink panties will never be the same… forever ruined… Oh! what will I get my sweetheart next Valentines?
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There is really no defense for the caste system at any point of time in history.
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This made me think, really? Are all discriminatory practices in History around the World always indefensible?
I can easily imagine a pre-antibiotic time when you don’t want your kid to play with the kid whose mom cleans outhouses and dad handles dead animals. In the burbs here, peanut allergic kids are highly discriminated against and sick kids will never go on a play-date. But that’s just me. Btw, your blog is still funny and I am not Hindu (not that there is anything wrong with it)
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[...] so, as with so many issues that keep Neo up at night – the answer is the same – blog about it and hope that [...]
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[...] do indulge Neo for a minute and imagine that you are a Hindu moral policeman – and this is your [...]
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I think there will be eager buyers within the organization. :-)
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Stop making me LOL in the middle of work! :D
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very well said Mr Neo!
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